LAST CHANCE AT THE BIG TIME

I am going to be moving back to Ohio next week, so this should be mylast tournament report of the academic year. Also, that means that thePTQ yesterday for New York was my last shot at the Tour for a while, becauseI will be way out of range for the Gray Matter circuit.

So anyway, I sat next to Worth Wollpert and Jeff Wu, the two guys withwhom I drove up to the tournament. The deck I registered was utter crap.Its owner would basically have to play black and blue together (ouch) forbasically some crappy cards, like one Cloud Elemental and one Breezekeeper,and no burn... Utter rot. Anyway, I didn't want it back, and was pleasedwhen celebrity guest Darwin Kastle didn't call my name.

Anyway... I would like to thank Jim Rich for the utterly degeneratedeck that got passed to me. It had lightning-quick black weenies and allthe blue bounce and control in the world. I didn't play either color.

1 Radiant Essence
1 Scalebane's Elite

1 Bull Elephant
1 Elven Cache
1 Giant Caterpillar
1 Nettletooth Djinn
1 Burning Shield Askari
1 Ekundu Cyclops
1 Kaervek's Torch
1 Keeper of Kookus
1 Raging Gorilla
1 Talruum Champion
1 Volcanic Geyser

1 Ethereal Champion
1 Honorable Passage
1 Hope Charm
1 Longbow Archer
1 Pearl Dragon
1 Ritual of Steel
1 Unyaro Griffin
1 Ward of Lights
1 Zalfirin Knight

5 Forest
6 Mountain
7 Plains

I had never even seen Ethereal Champion before. She is simply amazing.Once she hits the board, your enemy will not win. I also know many of youare saying to yourselves "Nettletooth Djinn? Are you some kind ofidiot scrub, Mike Flores?" I thought that with my Ward of Lights andHope Charm, I could get around the general Nettletooth hassles withoutmuch trouble. Anyway, he was yet another CC 4 creature with which I couldadminister the beatdown, and that is very good.

ROUND ONE

I am paired with Logan, a very easy going guy. I don't remember muchof this match, but I have a feeling there was some red-X involved somewhere.I take it 2-0.

1-0 match.

ROUND TWO

I am up against this guy Dennis Bently. Tough second match, to say theleast.

Game 1:

Dennis has awesome blue in his deck, but I don't see an Island for themajority of game one. I wear him down with my extremely powerful fattiesbefore he can mount a real defense, taking only 5 damage myself.

Game 2:

This one was a classic! Probably the hardest-fought win in my recenttournament career, Dennis and I trade blows for quite a while. I sensehe is holding Memory Lapse, and throw a large Kaervek's Torch to try tobleed it out of his hand... and do. I get it back, and hit him hard. Thistime I Torch his green Drake (his Breezekeeper was phased out) to get moreattack creatures through his defenses. I Cache the Torch, and wait on a7th mana.

Dennis starts to win the creature war with the help of his Fireblast(I was tapped out of white to cast my mighty Champion, so I couldn't Passagethe Fireblast). Dennis at this point has no cards in hand, but I dare notattack, as I am at 4 life. He draws and says he is done. I draw a land,and play it. Dennis says "Well, it was a good match!"Jedi Mind Tricks? I sensed again that he had some way of dealing with myCached Torch, but if I fell for the apparent bluff and lost, I would bean idiot. I of course Torched him for 6. POWER SINK! He explains to methat drawing off the top of your deck is the primary skill of tournamentchampionship Magic. I laugh. He attacks with his Breezekeeper, and becauseI tapped out, I am forced to mutual with the Pearl Dragon. I draw anotherland, and say "Got another one, Dennis?" Volcanic Geyser for6. He laughs and tosses down his Island.

2-0 match.

ROUND THREE

I am paired with Andy, who has more flyers than God.

Game 1:

I am screwed out of white for far too long, while holding my UnyaroGriffin and Pearl Dragon, as well as my Ethereal Champion. His Drakes keepgang-blocking my fatties, and I can't draw a Hope Charm or Geyser to savemy life, and they all die. I receive the flying stuff beatdown.

Game 2:

I draw white, and guess what? I win. Andy has a lot of flyers, but asgood as the winged creatures are in sealed deck, they are no real matchfor the damage potential of big fat ground-pounders... and Volcanic Geyseras an instant. That too.

Game 3:

I utterly dominate this game. With a perfect mana distribution, I justget out all of these good CC 4 creatures, my Dragon, and my fire. He cannotdefend with his Azimaet Drake and Cloud Elementals.

3-0 Match.

ROUND FOUR

I am paired with Eric, an excellent player from Neutral Ground

Game 1:

Both Eric and I are manascrewed. We both see forests and plains in thefirst game, but not our third colors. Eric is just a hair more manascrewedthan I at the start, so I am able to jump all over him with my green fattiesand Hope Charm.

Game 2:

Eric opens with Swamps--I actually suspected Mountains, because he hadGranger Guildmage. Anyway, I get out a quick array of CC 4 Creatures, andgive him the Hope Charm, Elven Cache, Hope Charm beatdown. He says "Youcan't beat people down with Hope Charm!" Let it be known that forthe rest of the day, Eric started to side in his Hope Charms.

Anyway, in the midgame, I am taking much Nettletooth damage, and Ericis starting to gain control of the board with his big green and white fatties.He taps out to match my Scalebane's Elite. I Torch him for 7 while he istapped out, with my Geyser in my hand. Eric shakes his head, and showsme his Honorable Passage. He concedes.

4-0 match.

ROUND FIVE

I am paired up with my buddy Alex this round. We kid for like half anhour while they are deck-checking us. Alex and I know each other's decks,and I half-heartedly offer a draw. Alex really wants to take it, becausehe quite frankly shouldn't beat me, and he tells me so, but I say thatwe should instead roll dice to see who wins. I win 2-0 with rolls of the20-sided, and then they return our decks.

We decide that it would be better for both of us to play. That's whatwe're there for, right?

Game 1:

I make a possible playing error, I think it is a judgement call, byIncinerating Alex's something-or-other instead of his Wake of Vulturesin the early game. I am holding my radiant Essence (or Treefolk for 3)and my Elven Cache, so think I can give him the beatdown... IF ONLY I CANDRAW A GREEN MANA. Guess what, I don't. Wake of Vultures flies over myflankers or whatever I had, and I lose.

Game 2:

Alex looks at his hand, and says "If you can win this game, youare the best player I have ever met." Oh, that's encouraging. DarkBanishings after 2/1 flyers after CC 4 guys all swarm me. He slaps Necromancyon my Talruum Champion. beatdown. Beatdown. BEATDOWN. So I go down 0-2.No prob, my deck is mighty.

4-1 match.

ROUND SIX

I am paired with John, who has a strong amount of burn.

Game 1:

We are at creature stalemate for a long time, but I gradually take thelead, because my dudes are FAT. John is keeping himself alive with theQuirion Druid, who is broken in sealed. I am at five, and I will win thenext turn with my fatties. John has 1 card in hand. He draws Flare, Flaresme, and Fireblasts. Ouch. Oh well, I bet a lot of people muttered "Ouch"when I did that too.

Game 2:

I get a quick draw with flankers and CC 4 fatties. Wham bam my guysare biger than yours slam beatdown.

Game 3:

John is utterly manascrewed. I hate to win that way, but when you haveyour enemy by the balls, you had better rip them off.

5-1 match.

FINAL ROUND

I am paired with Dave Bachman, and I decide that having been pairedboth with him and Alex--both are undefeated--and at least two otherpotential final 8 players, that the prudent move is to draw. Dave of coursehas no qualms about that one.

Everyone is jabbering about how my deck was so broken as we wait forthe finals. "How many times did he Torch you?" "It was geyserfor me." "Damn Pearl Dragon." Ha!

I draft a fine G/R beatdown deck. Some say I make questionable choicesduring the draft, passing up strong cards, but I try to maximize my anti-bluebecause I know that my first opponent will be heavy on the blue. My oneconcession to defensive draft was taking a Mind Harness--bad when YOU arewith G/R.

1 Windreaper Falcon

2 Elven Cache
1 Giant Caterpillar
1 Gibbering Hyenas
1 Jolrael's Centaur
1 Jungle Wurm
1 Panther Warriors
1 Quirion Elves
2 River Boa
1 Stalking Tiger

1 Dwarven Vigilantes
1 Ekundu Cyclops
3 Flame Elemental
1 Flare
1 Goblin Scouts
1 Incinerate
1 Kaervek's Torch
1 Raging Spirit
1 Spitting Drake

9 Forest
8 Mountain

Yes, I drafted THREE Flame Elementals.

QUARTERFINALS

I am paired with Adam, who has B/U/R. He jokes about how I have no cardsthat don't landwalk on him, and I drafted every possible card thatcould kill my Goblin Scouts.

Game 1:

Adam has control for the bulk of the game, due to Breezekeeper, Vanishing,and Mundungu. Mundungu is SO annoying, and he is plinking me away for 1a turn. He is doubly bad because I am somewhat short on mana, and I can'tbust my Scouts or anything with a CC more than 4. Anyway, my creaturesare just big, and when I am at 2, and his Breezekeeper is about to phaseback in, I send in the Death Squad. Bam bam bam. Adam is forced to blockwith his Mundungu, and I see my opportunity.

TORCH YOU! I am such a good player.

After winning game 1, I switch out the Hyenas for my other Dwarven Vigilantes,as they are effective agaisnt Adam's small creatures.

Game 2:

Adam and I beat each other on the head for a while, and I Flare hisGuildmage. He plays Mundungu, and I immediately Cache the Flare. WorthWollpert comments that Elven Cache on Flare isn't something one sees everyday... but I know the power of Mundungu. Even with the power of GoblinScouts, Elven Cache, Goblin Scouts, Adam gives me the fat beatdown withhis Breezekeeper and fucking VANISHING (again). He is at six. I say "Isee you are at six." I tap seven mana, counting each land deliciously:one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. He says "Bastard." Isay "manaburn." Everyone laughs, and Adam nearly avoids a heartattack.

Game 3:

My shit is big, but he has Vanishing again. Nonetheless, his creaturesare all smaller than Panther Warriors, Jungle Wurm, etc. Adam taps outfor Mist Dragon. I attack for 9. He says "looks like I'm taking nine."Worth, who was watching, says "Do you have Force of Will?" ITorch him to death.

Whew.

SEMIFINALS

I am paired with Matt. He and I played a little bit, and his G/W deckbeat mine up. I was more than a little scared.

Game 1:

He has Griffins coming out of every body cavity. Zalfirin Knights too.My Flame Elementals keep dying. I am rattled and make some horrid mistakeswith an Incinerate and a block. I know when I don't deserve to win, andconcede.

We both shuffle like madmen for like 5 minutes before game 2.

Game 2:

This didn't take long. Matt was utterly manascrewed, and I got 3 Forestsand my Quirion Elves in my opening hand. I had better fucking bronze thatQuirion Elves... It got out a turn 3 Ekundu, and a turn 4 Raging Spiritfor me, followed by a Boa and a Torch.

Brian, the judge, sees us shuffling, and says "Aren't you guysdone yet?" We say it is on to game 3. He says "What didI do, blink?"

Game 3:

Face the power of Jolrael's Centaur. In what is perhaps the coolestplay in the history of this tournament report, Matt gang- blocks my Centaurwith his Radiant Essence (2/3) and a Griffin. I flank them down to 1/2and 1/1, and Flare the Griffin, killing the Essence, and saving my dude,as well as drawing a card. I get a lot of relative fatties, and reallyhave Matt on the ropes. I Torch him for 4. The crowd sentiment at largeis that it is bad when you are Torched and it doesn't kill you. Aaron Klinesays it is worse when you are Torched and it does kill you. Anyway, I attackrepeatedly and Cache the Torch. Matt taps out to bring out a legion ofblockers, and I Torch him to death.

Hail Kaervek!

So basically, I got an insane amount of burn yesterday, 3 red X-spellstotal, so I won the qualifier. I had all of ONE Torch in the finals, andit won me every single game that I won. Well, you might call that a sliceof Provolone, but I have been due to get back on Tour for a long time.

I concede the finals to Bachman, but we split the $250. Congrats toDave for making sure he hits every Pro event. He is certainly a fine player.

Hooray!

Mike Flores