Subject: Hawaii States aka You know how my shit is long Date: Sun, 15 Nov 1998 23:32:32 -1000 (HST) From: Tyron Yamaguchi To: Da Sensei Frankster, Since I'm writing to you, you can assume that I did fairly well at Hawai'i States. It was about that time again, when "v"enus lines up with uranus, the day after Friday the 13th, when really wierd things happen. I am soooo starting to believe in Karma (not the card, even though I do like it), especially after what went on at States yesterday. I'm not sure whether to be happy, sad, upset, or mad. I woke up feeling refreshed on Saturday morning though I was seriously stressing, since I didn't have a deck to play and couldn't playtest the night before b/c my gf wanted "quality time" (what the hell does that mean anyways?). Whatevers. I ended just watching BIG starring Tom Hanks on TNT friday night eating ramen (kinda like cup o' noodle for those of you who don't get out much). The movie was pretty good though I find it hard to believe that the woman didn't feel like a pedaphile afterwards. Anyways, i go to Blaisdell with no deck. My bro is playing my Academy, as is Blondie and Kwan (the Chinese Santa, remeber from regionals?). Calvin "Apt Pupil" En-Vec, the newest member of Team "V" is playing a Goblin Deck (I'm not calling it sligh anymore b/c people get crazy with that mana ratio thing) which he made over the phone by pestering everyone else. Tsquee doesn't have a deck like usual and will play Blondie's Mono Blue Energy Field Deck. I'm thinking Goblin or Oath/Avatar all the way, but have so sb for Avatar, so it's gonna be Goblin. I think what I need and based from what I've read/inferred/extrapolated I make a decent deck. Calvin follows suit and takes out his crap to mimic my deck. His insanity rears it's ugly head and tells him to play Taco-lips (Apocalypse). I tell him instantly that he is smoking crack and that he should share it (Just say no!). Seriously, I dismiss his madness and then borrow some GI JOE tech from Ned of Island Magic by using tombs in my sb instead of scald (which would have helped more, but anyways...) I've used tombs before and they are good against chill, so...in they go. With no practice and no real thought into my deck, I play. Round One: Dude, I forgot your name. Military guy playing Green. Game one: He plays jaguar turn one and I'm like shit, I could be in some serious trouble, with Giant Growths and natural fatness. Makes sense why they they use lard, it doesn't burn! He plays like everything echo creature from Urza and I'm ready to cry. Cradle guard is just bad news for me. I am left twitching from the trample. *twitch* Game dos: Turn one lackey and I roll him over with like 2 flunkies, (dark) testicular lightning (so much better than the white bordered ones), and burn to back it up. Game san: Much like game two, dont' remeber that well. 1-0-0 Round Two: Chad Takahashi playing Necro-Something This is just a bad match up for Chad who's my friend. His brother and he are known for how crazy they are and their unique style of magic ("I sleight one of my deathgrips to one color you are playing and the other deathgrip to the other color you are playing"). Anyways, I tell Chad he is going to die miserably and he says,"Oh well, kee kee kee..." 1: I play creatures and two disk have come out by turn four, but burn sucks against necro. 2: Chad should have just basted himself in lighter fluid b/c he was lit up prettier than a christmas tree by turn four. Lackey is kicking ass. 2-0-0 Round Three: Young freckled white kid with glasses playing Red This kid was playing a goblin variant based on faultline and Mogg Maniac. Well without the focus of a true goblin deck he died pretty miserably to me being forced to meltdown his own cursed scroll to destroy mine. I played a Rathi which he quickly dispatched with a shock and incinerate, but then died horribly to the gnomes...the gnomes! the gnomes! I tell him to play red/white enkor/maniac and get a pariah on the maniac...Awww Yeah! 3-0-0 At 3-0 I'm feeling damn good...kinda like lady luck is sitting in my lap. This is where the moon and the stars started to collide. A few minutes before round four, I can't seem to find my deck which I stuck on my bag. I'm thinking to myself "Shit, I have to take a match loss, and then drop b/c some jerk stole my deck when I'm 3-0. This only happen to me since I'm a living example of Murphy's Law in full effect". To say the least, I was pissed...very, very, very, very, very, very, very (explicitive) pissed. Anyways, it turns out some (bleep) (bleep) went into my bag and stole two boxes of my cards including the deck I was playing. Man, was I pissed. I had to borrow the dark ball lightnings to play that day and I lost my cursed scrolls! Maybe losing the scrolls I could deal with but why my balls? I mean Satan's (my friend Brandon's nick) balls! The balls!!! How could I replace them. It was nearly impossible to get dark balls out here where everyone covets them like a three headed pig! Man, I would have to give up an organ to get those balls back for Satan. Surely I would go to hell for losing Satan's balls...I was screwed. I was feeling really bad about the balls b/c I knew how much he valued his mint balls they he cared for oh-so tenderly, always sleeving them and them taking them out occasionally to let them breathe. I had a seriously guilt problem buiding about the balls as you can tell, but I think any man in my position would have been fretting about losing his balls, especially if he had to borrow them. . Fortunately the thief didnt' take the rest of my stuff which was in another bag in my backpack where my goodies were. the thief basically got away with my deck, sideborad and bunch of janky urza uncommons. I hope you're happy since you won't be able to play or sell the cards jerk! I'm fuming mad, the planets about to implode when teamwork kicks in! When you are in a crappy situation you find out that there are a lot of good people around you. Calvin "Apt Pupil" En-Vec opts to draw against Des (member of Team 5.0 and friend) so I can use his deck to play my round. Thanks Cal. It's a good thing I made his deck! While I'm playing my team goes around and borrows the cards to make a new deck for me. Some great guys all of them. This is the beginning of wackness... Round Four: Ned (of Team Island Magic v.2) playing modified sligh-esque. Ned's a very funny and cool guy. He's huge too so you would never talk crap to him. He's like the only guy there I think that is taller than me and I'm 6'1". Game one: I was already seriously hormonally imbalanced from the loss of my balls and was forced to play with surrogate balls from my friend Calvin. I knew I was off my game when I casted my creature before bombardment (duh!). Anyways despite that glaring mistake and a Vug Lizard which promptly met my friend sonic burst after his echo was paid. I was able to pull out a win b/c Ned kept drawing land. Game two: Ned drew a lot of land again and was forced to play his land to keep his scroll active. Unfortuantely this was to his undoing as an acid soil for 7 and a shock abruptly ended his winning streak. 4-0-0 I'm sitting there thinking to myself: about my balls of course, but how wierd it all was, my deck getting stolen, Calvin drawing, me playing with his deck, and suddenly having the deck reconstructed outta of no where with dark balls too no doubt! I was still upset but thankfull for all the generous people of Hawaii M:tG who helped me make the deck back in like 20 minutes so I could keep playing. I was really touched about the deck, the balls, everything. Round 5: Calvin "Apt Pupil" En-Vec playing my deck. It was the mirror match-up and Cal didn't want to draw since he drew the previous round so I could play and would have to win round 6 for a sure to make top eight, so we play: I take a bullet to the left shoulder (metaphorically) and take a loss. I slaughter him with Rathi game one and then in game two, I mistakenly acid soil and die from the folling burn from Cal. GAme three Calvin just rolls me over with a cursed scroll and 8 lands with me having incinerate, incinerate, incinerate, shock, shock, ball lightning in my hand. 4-1-0 Round Six: Dave "The General" Bull of Team Island Magic playing Academy. I convince Dave to draw which unfortunately pushes him out of the top 8. I really have a lot of guilt about this b/c Dave is a friend and a great guy, and because it was his final big tourney in Hawaii, for a while, at least. Dave, I'm truly sorry and if there was something I could do, I would undo it man. I know no cards can make it up, but if there is anything you want just name it and it's yours. 4-1-1 Waiting for the matches to end I'm able to get some new balls for my friend Satan from a guy who wants a mana drain. With my friend's balls off my conscience I'm feeling much better. I am also able to get some strokes and academies too. Cool Beans! I make the top 8 I think seeded 4th or 5th. Top Eight: Steve playing Academy vs Byron playing Suicide Black Me playing Goblins vs Adam playing Counter Phoenix Calvin playing Goblins vs Desmond playing a modified mono blue Ned playing Sligh-esque vs Kekoa playing necro suicide something Suicide kills Academy Goblins kill Hammerhead Blue Slighesque kills Suicidal Necro Me vs Counter Phoenix Adam is a cool and big guy too. A little wierd, but aren't we all? I let him borrow a phoenix for his deck and I think he give me acidic soil to play in mine. Rather ironic huh? It's that Karma thing again. I'm thinking that my goblins can wreck counter phoenix 75% of the time so I'm feeling good. GAme one: I attack fast and furiously but Adam takes control with an early disk and my balls are no match for his phoenix. GAme two: I get a crappy draw, but Adam can't draw a disk to get rid of my two scrolls. I scroll him to death after saying what an idiot I am and that God must really want me to win by not letting me die. Game three: I draw one land and decide not to play mutter to Lohman how I'd hate to lose b/c I was mana screwed in the top eight (more irony). I pull it out of my but and get Adam down to 1 by turn six after a disk. I act rashly and pyro blast two incinerates through to drop him to 1. He starts to rebuld but can do anything in fear of my instant speed damage. He plays a Shivan Gorge (I could use one about now) but can't use it. I draw land for the next six turns, but he is afraid to cast anything. I'm just sitting ther with 11 lands in play, when I draw flunkie, then flunkie. I cast the two flunkies and he kills one as expected so I can't attack. I draw two more lands, and he's got more land out than me now, but can't tap his city of brass or he dies. With five minutes left he starts gorging me dropping me down to 13. I draw scroll, then tell him to go, I draw incinerate and tell him to go, I draw scroll and then tell him to go, I draw fanatic and tell him to go. We were standing at standstill for quite a few turns until I reminded him that there are no draws in the top 8 and it's coming down to life totals if time runs out. I guess it got his mind ticking or something. He casts morphling on his turn which of course is the end of him. I incinerate him during his discards which he counters, then cast scroll, which he counter then scroll again which he can't counter and then fanatic to kill him. Whew! After losing the first game I thought my Gods had abandoned me. Semis: Sligh-esque playing Goblins (cal) Suicide Black playing Goblin's (me) Cal's focused deck dispatches Ned's deck quickly. I'm feeling like this is gonna be a cake walk since my red owns suicide black. Game one: I quickly kill him even though he paralyzed my first four creatures and persecutes me on turn 3! I had a scroll in hand and it made all the difference. GAme two: I get a good hand, and drop lackey turn one. He persecutes me for my whole hand sans one mountain. I have no scroll, I draw and start to come back, but it's a little late, with two active scrolls he asks what life I'm at. I'm tempting to show him my middle finger since I'm at one, but use the index instead. Game three: The persecute really threw me off my rocker and kinda scared me too. I draw and only have one land in my hand. Despite the wierd draw I keep it remembering how I told Lohman how I'd hate to be manascrewed in the top eight and get a wierd feeling. I play my lackey first turn and then draw no land on turn two. I dont' sweat and play a fanatic. Turn two he holy strengths his carnophage and attacks with it and the black knight he summoned on turn one. I block and sac the fanatic. I'm starting to get worried. Turn three I draw and get...ball lightning! Crap! I play cursed scroll, but I'm in some serious trouble when he paralyzes my lackey blocker. I take 6 once to bring me down to 12. Turn four I draw...LAND HO! I quickly play a mountain and tell him to go. He duresses me then in response I incinerate the carno. He's at 16. He takes my sonic burst which I was going to kill the knigh with, shit. He attacks for 2 taking me down to 10. Turn five I td incinerate and kill the knight and cast it. By now he has an active scroll and like 7 lands and then another scroll and slayer. Turn six I draw land and risk playing my ball so he can't scroll me b/c I know he has terror in his hand! Imagine using your balls as protection!? He doesn't bite and takes the 6 taking him down to 9. I had to chose what to do. Kill the slayer or deal the damage to him. Knowing I will lose if I race, I sack my ball and lackey to kill the slayer. He double scrolls me to bring me down to six and plays another land. One turn 7 I have acidic soil and draw a shock knowing that I'm deas as disco next turn with the scrolls. I go for the draw/win by casting acidic soil forcing him to take 8 and then shocking him, and then start jumping up and down howling and high fiving my friend in celebration like as if I had won. Byron bites and forgets that he can double scroll me cause I'm at 2. YES! On to the finals. Finals: Goblin vs. Goblin This game will be up the air as is a mirror match so technically draw will mean everything. Cal is my team member and we've both proved enough as time ran out at the venue we were at so we would have to go elsewhere to play. We decide to decide this like men in the parking lot. First we were gonna wrestle, but opt for a coin flip. My bro flips, Cal calls "tails" just like I would have, since I always call tails and it comes up "HEADS"!!! Oh well, I guess I'm the new state champ! We collect our prizes and then head over to TGIF for brewsky and food! I must say that yesterday was one of the wierdest days of my life and the deck and I have some kind of wierd bond reinforced by astrology, karma, and higher powers. I mean what are the chances that I'd design a deck that someone else on my team would play too, go 3-0, get my deck stolen, but none of my good cards in the same bag, have my teammate draw so I can play, keep winning, play with a one land draw and still win against suicide black and meet my deck again (and team mate) in the finals. Really wierd stuff. Life truly is blessed insanity! Thanks: Mark: Great tourney and for lending my 3/4 of the new goblin deck I need to reconstruct. Kwan (Santa), Chris (Blondie), Cal en Vec, Brian (Tsquee), Try (Big Poppa Pump), Brandon (Satan): For helping me out and being a great team "V". Anyone watch the movie "V" starring Pele and Stallone? It has nothing to do with my team. It' all about Venus and Anna of course. hehe. We are all about having fun and we know we aren't the best magic playas. Team 5.0: Kris, Des, Jas, and Ryan (How 'bout them Wurms) You guys are great rivals like NWO Wolfpack is for NWO Hollywood. Without you, we might run rampant and reproduce like bunnies. Besides, you guys always stick around (Kris and Des). Team Island Magic v.2: Dave, I'm stills sorry man and I'm not sure what else to say. I'll figure something out. You're a great guy and a fierce competitor. Your presence will be sorely missed. Ned, great ideas and you're a cool guy. Stop trying to be a comedian. You're already damn funny. Shake that thang white boy! The playas in Hawaii: You guys are all cool. Thanks for the Aloha and showing how cool we can be, like people I didn't even know let me borrow cards to make my deck again. You are all the best. We are a small group of Magic playas in Hawaii, but I think we are pretty good. And of course My Balls: Where ever you are, and wherever you may go, I will look for you and avenge your kidnapping. May pestilence, persecution, and pox plague the perpetrators of pilfering! Some dam good alliteration if you ask me! Oh, if You want a decklist email me at ty@slider.net. Ty www.slider.net/~ty/dominia/