Subject: Regionals Tournament Experience Date: Thu, 28 May 1998 21:20:44 -0400 From: "Jamie & Mare" To: Warning – this is extemely long, has some swearing in it, and I try to make a car crash funny because no one was hurt. If this this disturbs you please stop reading. I haven’t written much in a while, and I must have been storing it all up. Cause this report just kept coming and coming. I’m not touching that last line with a ten foot pole. It is Sunday afternoon, the day after regionals, and I am exhausted. I drove five hundred miles yesterday, getting up at 4:00 am , driving down to Millis, Ma, and then driving back. Finally getting home, 24 hours later at 4:00 a.m. Rarely have I had so much fun. Good friends, good times, good magic, good quotes, some recognition, and one card signing. All in all, an excellent day. Preping for regionals was interesting. I’ve been up in the air about the current environment, and doing an awful lot of playtesting, and, doing a lot of awful playing. Sharing tech with Cabal Rogue and looking for the broken, or nearly broken cards in Stronghold. Surprisingly, The Mighty Cabal Rogue can’t even find anything broken in Stronghold. It s an o.k. little set, with a few nice cards, but nothing that Cabal Rogue or the Middlebury crew can abuse that others may have missed. Everyone already knows about Volraths broken Stronghold, and Shard broken Pheonix - which is so good because red and black both needed the boost. I feel so bad for the poor red and black mages. NOT. At first, I hate the current environment, and for a number of reasons. Mono green still blows and I lose a couple hundred more dci points playing mono green at Comics and Collectibles tourneys, and I still can’t make anything even remotely competative. My Brothers Grimm doesn’t seem to be working as well as it used to, and I can tell the brutal, legendary, pain - inflicting Brothers need a break. Ever have decks like that? Sometimes, they need a rest, and they’re not going to perform for you until you leave them alone for a while. Cabal Rogue discusses the current meta game ad infinitum, and at first, it seems that everything is Super beatdown, or Uber control, with no middle ground. Middle of the road decks have no chance. SRB is too fast with too much stuff to disenchant, and uber control is able to recover at one life and take control of the board and never, ever, give it up. Nothing I have that is a standard deck seems to be able to compete. Eventually, I realize that the current environment is not awful. It’s EXCELLENT! The reason the current environment is so good is the diversity. Never in the history of magic has there been so many viable deck types that you can take and have a chance of winning. Huge, kudos to WOTC for this. Never has there been so many equal decks. Its not about the three decks you have to be able to beat like in the days of Necro, Turbo Stasis, and Counter-post. Now – you can’t metagame very well. Everything is good. The search for the deck that can handle it all is an impossibility. In todays magic scene – there is no such beast. I flounder like I usually do, and contine to play janky stupid fun decks in tournament play – and I get crushed, but I just don’t care. Its only Middlebury, and after coming back from Los Angelos, I feel fulfilled. Despite the fact that I got crushed in LA – the fact that I went means everything to me. I don’t feel the burning need to prove that my decks don’t suck that I used to feel. I qualified with Wakefield Black, aka the Brothers Grimm, and that’s all that matters to me. I no longer play to prove that I have what it takes, I play to have fun, socialize, and try out new stuff that I might be able to take to regionals or PTQ’s. I flounder a little bit in the time before regionals, and then I have an epiphany. No one believes me when I tell them that you need 6-8 ways main deck to gain life, or you will lose to burn. You need Spike Feeders and Bottle Gnomes or drains and spins or something else together. One set of these is not enough. If you get a pro red shadow guy and a Freewind Falcon on the board, you can still lose. Smart burn players (there’s an oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one!) will just ignore your creatures and start burning YOU, in hopes that they can kill you befrore you can kill them. In a race to the finish, my moneys on the guy playing with fire. Which of course begs the question - how do you fit FAT into a red deck? Well, fat works really well when you have rituals – so how about a red black deck? Maybe a variation on my Bone Dancer deck, with more fat? How about 4 rituals 2 ‘haups 4 stupor 4 incinerates 4 lightning blast 1 morinfen 1 gallowbraid 2 ORGG!!! 4 necrataal 4 fireslinger 4 fanatic 2 bone dancers? This looks pretty good, and I play it at the shop for a bit, and I tune it, but it’s just not the symphany of beatdown and destruction that it should be. I can’t make anyone weep in frustration with it, nor can I make them want to quit the game. I keep taking damage from pain lands, and my gemstones keep getting used up. I don’t like how sometimes my opponent gets a little land screwed, and I don’t have a Wasteland that will assure that they stay that way. Plus, Stupor seems pretty weak when my opponent plays a turn one scroll and I help him empty his hand. And – I don’t have enough burn. Anything that has red – you’re supposed to be able to just burn them out sometimes and win when you really shouldn’t. There isn’t enough burn in here. I miss having pheonixes like my states deck last year that was a pheonix haups "combo" deck. (Combo = Mountians and Burn) Maybe if I took the Orggs out for Pheonixes – but then I’m adding something that requires RRR2 to cast into a two color deck – increasing my chances of not being able to play them when I want to. And RRR2 doesn’t combo well with BBB from a ritual. Hmmm…. What to do…. What to do….?????? I KNOW! I’ll make it a mono color deck!!! It’s a little odd for me, (not) but if I go mono color, I solve all my problems! What the hell, I’ll try it as a mono color deck! I have great results with it as mono color and decide I should show some tech to Cabal Rogue in hopes that they will have the results that I do. Heres some excerpt’s from stuff I sent to Cabal Rogue that helped me decide to play this in this years regionals. Since our latest tech was all about getting qualified for regioanls – I don’t think anyone on the list will mind me sharing my usual odd startegy with the rest of the world. Hi all - Just wanted to show this to everyone. Its a janky mono red deck with one trick, and I think I may just play it in regionals. So far I've lost one game with it in two days. (And I was mana saturated the game I lost - I mean - even for me. I drew two burn spells.) Its just so stupid that I don't really want to show it to you guys, but since I may play it at regionals - I don't want to win and then be afraid I held back tech. Who knows, maybe you guys will have the results I am. Before I show the deck list - let me just say that this is a variation on the deck that I qualified with for Dallas. The one for Dallas had white in it, and was a standared Garglehaups deck. Well, no it wasn't - I had 4 Balduvian Horde and 4 Goblin Mutants in my Garglehaups deck and no eveil Thawing evil Glaciers. In fact - about the only thing my deck had in common to garglehaups was that it used gargoyles, and haups. I then made up a mono red deck for states, and reworked the garglehaups deck to being mono red. So then I went 5-0 in states with it, and then lost to another member of this list with his maro geddon deck (Kevin MC) in the first round of the top eight - but I digress. So, I'm pretty sick of how my decks are working right now - and burn seems really, really strong. The luck win factor is just amazing. Burn can beat ANYTHING. its cool. la la la So I throw this deck back together on a lark - no wait - I throw this deck together as a red black deck - and it does o.k. with about a 60% win ration. I come home, and I'm like - I really need Pheonixes in here instead of Orggs - which are really just the bomb. (both are I mean) So I retool the deck back to being mono red. la la la Its not tuned at all - and I'll probably add lancers here it is 4 Fanatics 3 Jackle Pups 4 Ironclaw Orc 3 Ball Lightnings 4 Bogardan Pheonixes 4 Incinerates 4 Shocks 3 Lightning Blast 3 Haups 4 Torches - (a lot of blue out there right now.) and the usual 26 land. 4 of these lands are Crystal Veins - because they are just like a dark ritual - its like - four lands on the board - play a Crystal Vein - sac - haups. (It was so funny at the shop today - I'm playing Joshie trash talker and he's like "three games Jankfield" - and I play a land - and a pup - he says "how much land jankfield" and I say 26 and he and Walter laugh . They laugh - alot. Joshie stalls on two land and I TRUCK him in 5 turns. Then I do it 4 more times. wow - 22 land is just not enough Joshie Trash Talker.) Now - as dumb and simple as the deck looks - it really does perform well. Against control - Pup – Release the Hounds! Ironclaw beatdown ensues Ball Lighting? "counter" Shock you? "o.k." Lightning Blast you at the end of your turn? ummm, think think think "counter." Ball Lightning? "counter" - Shock you? Torch you? think think think think notice only three land untapped. "fine" Pheonix? "counter" ’Haups? "damn - out of counters!" game starts over - Pup - Ironclaw, beatdown ensues. against another burn player. they play a second land and stall - I continue to play land for two more turns, Ball Lightning them and Pup them, and etc them. They get close enough to start racing - I Haups, Pheonix finishes it. against anyone playing scroll - its like - wow you emptied your whole land and I know you are holding a (insert anything here) Haups ummmmmmm......... land, Release the Hounds!, - go. Nothing in the deck to Disenchant - can't use scroll because I like to surprise them with the haups. I played a control player yesterday, snuck a Pheonix through counters - she was out - and then she was holding a Wrath - but guess what? Pheonix came right back. I just can't expound enough on how cool Bogarden Pheonix and Mistmoon are. A lot of the time - the deck just kills you on turn 5. Oh no! - white weenie red scroll - pro red shadow guys oh no! - Ball Lightning? can't block! wow - we're getting into a race now - only you're trying to scroll me to death - so I know what your holding. haups - all your En Kor and pro red guys die. la la la well - I like it. later all Jamie C. Wakefield Fattie Spice A little break here – with all the rules confusion – WOTC needs to smarten up, and take the simple road to rules. There are three things I am talking about. 1.. En Kor and Trample. According to a recent ruling, an En Kor can redirect trample damage to himself, over and over and over again, so that if he blocks an Orgg, the player will not take any trample damage. That’s just dumb. You can use logic loops all you want to try and explain it – but I mean seriously, unless you were issued this erratta, would you ever think that? If I tried that in a tournament, people would think I’m a cheater. "Wow, you redirect all the damage back to the En Kor again and again? Wow – that’s neat! Now, how much damage has the En Kor taken? "Well, with the redirection, and then I, um…. I….." "How much damage has he taken?" "Well, ummm, six?" "And what’s his toughness?" "Well, with the redirection….. See… I….. Ummmm…" "Redirection to what?" "To….. himself?" "Oh! So he took six, but you redirected six of it to himself, so he only took…..???? What? Six?" "Yeah, um. Six. But I redirected it…." "Is redirection prevention? " "ummmm… no?" "So I ask again. What is his toughness" "Ummmm, two." "Take four Cheater-boy. And be happy I don’t cuff you for your insolence." (o.k. – Keith just explained to me that when you redirect damage – its no longer trample. Any redirection. It might not make sense – but its been a rule for a long time. Damn – a whole good funny sequence ruined by a basic fact.) And I also don’t understand this dumb mana source during damage prevention idiocy. Even Keith can’t explain this one to me. This actually happened to me in the tourney, and I was issued a ruling by the judge. Now, Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge my opponent his use of the rules anymore than I begrudge his use of the broken scroll. What’s legal is legal. I just don’t agree with WHY it’s legal. "I attack with my Orgg," I tell my soon to be trampled opponent. "I block with my Blood Pet, then during damage prevention, I sac him for one mana." I won’t try to go into anything funny here. Somehow, by removing the blood pet during damage prevention, it screws up the trample damage, and the opponent just takes one mana burn. That is also just dumb. By removing the blocker in any other phase, my opponent would take 6 damage. By doing it during damage prevention, the Orgg apparently gets confused and wanders off, doing no damage whatsoever. Onward. Heres also a note that I sent to Cabal Rogue that I wanted to share on Land Tech. The Wakefield School of Magic – Fatties are the one true road to victory. 26 land in every deck Green blows. Now and Forever - green just blows. Always wear your seat belt. I'd like to take a minute to talk about --- 26 land in every deck. I give people the "Wakefield Cut" a lot. What this means is that a lot of people are land screwed against me. But I don't think they really are...... I think they are used to playing against other people who also play light in land and DO NOT LAY A LAND EVERY TURN. I wonder about people playing 22 land. Or LESS. And I wonder about people counting tithe as land - or rituals as land - or mox diamonds as land. or even mana sources. There is one basic mana source - and that is a basic land. You can tap it EVERY turn for free. It does not lose counters. It does not do damage to you. It does not return to your hand so that you stall at that number of land. It does not have to wait a turn before it untaps. It does not COST YOU GAMES. You know - If I start throwing threats at you turn one - and by turn four there is a REALLY big threat on the table and you are at two land - well - in the immortal words of Alan Webster - "You're gonna die." Now - against a number of decks - you will have the ability to recover. Even against some sligh decks - they will play two land - and both of you will stare at each other and just PRAY for more land so the srb player can ball lightning you to death. Or can get rid of some counterspells, or you can start ...... doing something. Now - A lot of the decks I see - they sure are flexible. And they sure aren't going to suffer from mana glut very often, and if they get JUST the right opening hand - they are just going to wreck you. But how often does that happen? I see people discounting the fact that they were "land screwed" against me - and in a real tournament – they assume their deck will perform flawlessly. They will get enough land - they will not stall with two undiscovereds on the board and the won't need to play a third land on the third turn, because their opponent won't play one either. The game just takes a couple of more turns.... right? If you die - because you had to return an undiscovered to your hand - thats a weakness of the deck. Thats not bad luck. Thats bad deck building. If your city of ass pings you to death - thats not bad luck. thats bad deck building. We will all be heading to regionals very soon - and I know in my report that there will be numorous people that I can claim got mana screwed against me. And I will be able to claim it maybe once, maybe twice during the day. Most likely - I wont even claim it once. Stephen B. Laird once said - "Look at this! This is so cool! I tap my mountain, next turn, its going to untap! I don't have to worry about it going away, or doing damage to me, or getting wasted or anything! Isn't that just so cool?" Steve plays a LOT of five color decks - and was playing a mono colored deck and rediscovering his love of basic lands. When you build these three and five color wonder decks - just keep track of how many times you lose because you don't have the right color land - or not enough of it, or ... well, any of these factors. Don't discount the fact that you lost only because you were mana screwed - that doesn't count in regionals. No one cares. The judge isn't going to let you play again because you didn't get the right mana. More mono and two colored decks have won nationals and pro tours (and now regionals) than three and five color decks. Despite all the mono colored weaknesses. The Wakefield School of Magic is not about being prepared for everything. Its about consistency. My red deck I just posted to the list? Full of weaknesses. Full of strength too. I was watching one of the Myers Twinkies lose to Rod this weekend. He was holding three Honorable Passage when he necroed for 7 cards and Rod "Sudden Impacted" him to death. The Twinkie was like - "If I had a white land you were so dead." Well, yeah - but then - thats the dangers of playing three color Necro isn't it? You can't just accept the loss as bad luck and pass it off - because its not. He had white for disenchants and passages. - now - how much white land did he have? Well, how much did he have to jocky land around to make sure he could still drain people, or bolt them? hmmm? I'm not trying to lecture anyone here - I'm just trying to pass on tech. When I lose because I don't have enough land - or I don't have the right color land - I don't just ignore it and say "what rotten luck." cause its not luck. If I stall at three land and my opponent trucks me - I don't curse and say – "yeah well, if I had more land I would have...." and then not make any changes to my deck. Lets also not ignore the fact that fireballs, drains, wastelands, haups and geddon recovery, etc etc etc etc are also a great reason to play a lot of land. Winter orbs aren't as effective when you draw a lot of land. etc etc etc. There are just so many reasons. Ah well – I hope I made some people think. later all Jamie C. Wakefield Mono Colored boy Thrilled to be part of Cabal Rogue Eternal defender of mucho land I take second in a tournament with it up in Barre, and have a great day, and I tell Cabal Rogue all about it. Cabal Rogue has wildly divergen play styles, so I doubt any of them will take it to their regionals, but I’m having such great success with it – I just have to share. Please also note that I do a ton of testing at Comics and Collectibles, best store in the Northeast, but I don’t write anything to them. They just experience it first hand. You’re just seeing the results I am sending to Cabal Rogue. mini report just for the list. I stop into the shop and Andy hands me two cursed scrolls and I hand him two taiga's. I now have 4 cursed scrolls - thank god. I owe him something more. Andy and I are thinking about going to Barre and stealing DCI points from the highest ranked players in the state. KevinMC assures me that he, titan, and Don will be there to steal points from. The Myers twinkies are at the shop and I ask them if they want to go to Barre. I warn them that I have a small car. They say fine - call their folks and get permision to go. Fine - I decide that instead of play against the amazing Middlebury crew all day - I'll just bring half of them with me, and play in a tourney and recoup some lost dci points. I've dropped 200 points in 2 months due to my experimenting with mono green. Today I am playing pheonix haups. Straight burn, nothing to disenchant, creatures are the only permanents - and 7 cards that are not burn - 4 BOGARDAN pheonixes and 3 haups. Lightning blast was the M.V.P today. Jackle pups are insanely strong. I took 5 damage from them all day. So I squeeze the Myers Twinkies into my Toyota Paseo - and let me tell you - squeezing two 14 year old guys that are 6'0 and 220 pounds each into the back seat of a a Paseo is not a good idea. When they exit the car - I feel like I'm the lead driver of the clown mobile at a circus. We make the 90 min drive to Barre. Right on time. Kevin and I talk abit - but I'm playing and he's running the tourney. In no particular order - the people I played and what happened. Don Webster - in the top ten in Vermont - very good player - one of the Spiteful Brothers. I play a pup - Don plays a White Knight. I kill it. second turn I play a pup - Don plays a White Knight. I kill it. I keep attacking - Don plays Propaganda - then another Propaganda - the Ball Lightning and Sand Stalker I have in hand are now both useless. Don plays a Freewind. Then another Freewind then a priest. then a Bottle Gnome. "Sure Don - you want to beat what? - one guy today? You build this deck just to beat me? Weak Don. Weak." He plays a Tradewind - I Lightning Blast it. He plays another. I Lightning Blast it. He kills me with the Freewind and the shadow priest. Second game - I go - fine - super secrect luck sideboard. I side in Anhk of mishra, 3 Fireblasts and Sudden Impact. I Shock him first turn. I Incinetare him second turn. I Shock and Incinerate him third turn. Don starts beating on me with White Knights, I ignore them - they are pesky bugs compared to the heat being focused on Don. I lightning and Fireblast him for the win. Don asks me if I came up with this deck all by myself. Don also tells me I shouldn’t complain about all his pro red guy draws with the draws I just got. :-) Game three - see game two. Two Bottle Gnomes and two Mangaras Blessing just don't cut it when someone focuses all their burn on you. Don is totally pissed off. Andy. Andy is playing The Brothers Very Grimm. He gets out a third turn Morinfen - I get out a fourth turn Lightning Blast - attack again and again. He gets horrible draws against me - and Steel Golems Deralors and Morinfens all get Lightning Blasted to death. Lightning Blast is just so wrong. Red should be vulnerable to 4 toughness and it just isn't anymore. Andy gets off one Stupor and one drain before I roast him again. At one point - he is getting up to massive drain range and I haups when he is tapped out - pheonix phinishes him off. Andy makes top four with the Brothers Grimm - 12 people at the tourney. Walter. Walter is playing Gerrard’s Wisdom, Shard Pheonix, counters, Sylvan, Persuit, etc. I kill him turn 5. game two I side in all my luck cards and burn him out turn 4. This is the deck Walter has played to two top eights and one tourney win in Middlebury. Paul - playing Draw - Go. I get killed first game by a Steel Golem I can't get rid of. Second game I side in Anhks and Fireblasts and Sudden Impacts and Pyroblasts. I get the two Ankh draw and think I've won. I draw six land in a row - and die. I make a few changes to the deck the night before the tournament, and I think they are for the best, but I am not sure. Changing a deck the night before a huge tourney is generally bad, but I find through playtesting that some changes are needed. Heres what I took to regionals. "Wakefield Sligh" Notice the mana curve principle that Wakefield Sligh uses – (Fat = Good) 4 Mogg Fantastics 3 Jackel "so cute – take two more" pups 3 Suq ‘ Ata Lancers – couldn’t find a fourth, it must be a sign. 2 Wildfire Emisarries 2 ORGG – Beacause I am KING!!!! KING OF THE FATTIES!!! 4 Bogarden Pheonixes - Because I am also King of the "never used" cards 3 HAUPS 3 Shock 4 Incinerate 4 Lightning Blast 4 Torches 4 Wastelands 4 Quicksands (shadow pro red priest = bad) 18 Mountains Yup – 26 land in Wakefield Sligh What a shock. I look the deck over, and I remember Pro Tour Los Angelos. Keith, Louise, Brandon and I examined the metagame of "Tempest Only" with a fine tooth microscope. Or something like that. We decided that fat black wouldn’t cut it because of Light of Day. Red wouldn’t cut it because of Warmth, Chill, COP:RED and a lack of really, really good burn spells. Blue, while powerful , would be completely hosed by Boil, Choke, and Cursed Scroll. That left white or green. Green was out because…. Well, I think you know why…. White seemed to be the only viable mono colored choice because of Disenchant and Serene Offering and Cloud-chaser Eagle. I mean – we looked at the card mix, and we thought enchantments and artifacts would be everywhere!!!! Scroll would be in every deck – and everyone would be ready for it. Scroll was going to do nothing in LA because everyone was prepared. Mono Blue and red would be absent, and two and three color decks would all be the rage because with green, white, and red you could take care of everything. How wrong we were. Despite the presence of scrolls, hand to hand, warmth, propaganda, orim’s prayer, humility, boil choke, etc etc etc – No one cared. The metagame was nothing like what we thought – either because we are a bunch of morons, or the rest of the pro tour population is a bunch of morons. The top eight was red, black, and blue. Didn’t you people playtest? I’m still not over LA, can you tell? All the work we did…. Useless! Because people didn’t see the same metagame that we did. They seemed to ignore all the really powerful cards in Tempest, ignore the scroll, and not care that there were 25 powerful game altering enchantments that needed to be dealt with. So here’s what I learned from LA. The Metagame is worthless. I think I’m gonna make that the fourth principle of the Wakefield School of Magic. I’m thinking about taking a red deck to regionals. Everyone will be prepared for Burn. I have no chance with Warmth, Honorables and COP red in the side. Thanks to LA – I just don’t care. Sideboard cards need to be drawn, or they do nothing. La la la Wow – two days later – fifteen pages longer, and I haven’t even gotten to the tournament yet. I read my good friend Alan Websters Tournament report this morning (Wednesday) and it’s pretty good. The sad thing is, that Alan is one of the funniest guys I have ever met. I mean, tears coming out of my eyes, snot blowing out of my nose, bent over from laughter funny. Now why is that sad you ask? Because I’m talking with his brother Don on IRC this morning and Don tells me he had to cut a lot out to make it short. Why the hell would you want to make something short? I see a tourney report that is a page long, I’m bored before I even start reading. I know that at the end of the report, I’m not gonna care whether the guy scrubbed out in the third round or won the whole thing. I’m sad because Don says "Whats he gonna do, three pages of funny "I spite you" stories? Well….. YES!!!! I LOVE SPITE STORIES!!!!!! Hey, who doesn’t, right? So, I’m sad that Alan didn’t take the time to write it as long as he could make it, fill it with his bitter wit, and have us all bent over with snot blowing out of our noses, and our wives looking at us strangly, wondering what the hell we could be doing on the internet that is so damn funny. Alan has that power and he’s not using it. Here’s the description that Alan gave me about one of his sideboard cards "Bottomless Pit." "This card makes you play at my level. Your wonderfully tuned, five color card advantage deck is reduced to a ten year old flipping over cards. All your strategy, all your experience, planning and testing - useless. Crap. I’ m going to drag you kicking and screaming to my dumb ass level. We play like morons. One card at a time, turned over, and praying for a good pull. The better top decker wins." Or something like that. I, on the other hand, have the power of Verbosity and I use it. I do not happen to have the power of grammer and spelling, but then, that’s what editors are for, isn’t it? Hell, there’s about a hundred people reading this right now that can fix all the spelling and gammer errors, but how many of them could fill fifteen pages of a tournament report, and not be to the tournament yet? Onward….. Rodney is coming up on Friday night to stay over and then we will be leaving at 4:00 am in the morning as usual. Rodney will be playing his red/blue shard pheonix deck that took him to top 4 in Middlebury two weeks ago. He’s pretty excited, since it’s the best deck he’s had in quite some time, and even beat one of the amazing Myers Twinkies in the rounds of swiss, and then again in the top eight. Pretty cool. Six o’clock comes, and no Rodney. So he’s fifteen minutes late…. No big deal right? Seven o’clock comes and no sign of Rodney. Well, now Mare and I start to get a little worried, but then, our entire group is known for being late for everything. So, not too worried. I sign on to the internet to check mail, and when I get off, we have a message on Call Answering. I dial the appointed number and retrieve the message. "Hi, this is Rod. I’m not going to be able to make it up tonight. I’m all right, and will call you later." Puzzling, huh? Very little info in that message. And nothing good. So, The Lovely Mare and I wait and we wait and we wait, and finally at 8:30, Rod calls. He’s home now, and has just returned from the hospital. Turns out he rolled his car. Like not one roll, but one of those buyback Jocklhaups rolls that destroys his entire car, shatters the windshield onto his face, flings stuff out the door, dislocates his shoulder, and comes inches from crushing Rodneys nearly bald head into a pancake. "At the end of your turn I’ll Capsize your car – paying the buyback. Capsize it again. Again. And Again. Untap, draw, Capsize your car five times. Do you concede?" "YES! YES I CONCEDE !!! JESUS CHRIST!!!" The entire car is smashed into oblivion. The passenger side of the car is smashed in so far that the passenger side door is six inches from Rod’s face as he hangs upside down from his seatbelt, wondering where the hell he is. TIP! Play with 26 land and always wear your seatbelt! The first guy to Rodney is an off duty EMT who is amazed that Rod is alive. He says he saw the crash and was sure Rod was dead. He thought "that guys is so dead. He’s just gone. Oh man." Not only is Rodney not dead, but he is fine. No broken bones, no big cuts, but a lot of bruises. They rush him to the hospial to make sure that he is o.k. and it turns out he is fine. Nothing broken, no stiches. Thank God. His shoulder is dislocated, but Rod has one of those shoulders that gets dislocated reaching too far for a beer. But Rodney will not be making it to regionals. As they are putting him into the Ambulance, the guy who helped him crawl away from the wreckage asks him – "anything you need in the car?" and Rodney says with desperation – "Yes! I need my bag! Badly! Can you get it for me?" The guy grabs the wrong bag, and brings it to Rodney as they shut the door to the Ambulance. It is not the bag with his deck in it…… The bag with his deck in it is towed to a garage, and by the time Rodney gets out of the hospital, the garage is locked up tight. He’ll have to get it in the morning. Rodney does not have his deck for regionals, and feels he better stay home because the doctor tells him that he will be some nasty sore on Saturday, and should probably stay home. What a puss, huh? (I’m kidding of course.) I take some Nyquil at 9:00 and I sleep like a baby. For the first time I can ever remember, Mare has to wake me up for the tournament and tell me its time to go. At 4:00 am, I am still sound asleep and loving it. How wonderful. I wonder what its like to play Magic in a big tourney when I’m not Zombified? Coffee is already brewed, and I pour myself a cup, and sign on to the net to check for mail and see if there is anything good to read while I wait for my caffiene to kick in. When I get off – there is another message. John Paul – another guy who was going to ride with me – has called. He’s been puking all night, and isn’t going to make it. What a pisser, as John Paul has been away at college, and literally, dreaming of playing in regionals for the past two months. John Paul used to be one of our best players, and dropped out. Now he’s just getting back into it, and has rediscovered his love of the game. So instead of 4 in my car, I now have 2? Not a good sign. I’m a big believer in Omens, and "feelings", and I’m thinking "Maybe I’m not supposed to go today?" Walter shows up at 4:40, and I’m still in my bathrobe. A quick change later and we are out the door. Two instead of four. I’m still waking up, and Walter and I discuss what deck he should play today. He decides on the white weenie over his shard pheonix/sylvan/pursuit deck. I, of course, will be playing something Fat. About fifteen miles from home, and ¾ of the way to meeting Keith and Louise and their carload I realize – "CRAP! I WAS SUPPOSED TO WAIT FOR JOSHIE TRASH TALKER!!!!" Can I fuck this up anymore? I’m pretty sure that I’m not supposed to go today. I decide that when I get to the meeting spot, I will hand Walter off to Keith, turn around, and try to get back in time to give Joshie directions, and then I will pick up Joshie’s car later on the other side of the Mountain, and I will stay home with my lovely bride and have a quiet day at home. Magic is stupid anyway. But no. Joshie has also messed up and is with Keith and Louise. I decide to press on. And drive with great care. Joshie joins us for a bit, and we head onward to the tourney site. We arrive without incident. A lot of the regulars are here, but not all. Hammer, Guervin, Loconto, Humphries, The Mighty Mighty Michelle Bush, Mark Balabon, The Evil Bregoli, The amazingly big and friendly Nat Fairbanks and a host of others I am forgetting as this Fosters works its evil on my brain. Lets do a little roll call of who is here from Vermont Me – Playing Wakefield Sligh/Fat Red/Pheonix Haups Joshie- playing a trap variant Ira Beaver – playing blue tradewind stuff. Keith Kenyon – playing his multiple - tourney winning bottle necro variant Louise Graham playing SRB tongs/scroll Dean Kenyon playing SRB tongs/scroll Brendan playing his bottle necro Walter playing mono White Weenie – 24 land AND 4 TITHES!!!! YES!!! Don, Fritz, Alan and Kevin playing Alan’s Suicide Black Weenie Shadow Kevin MC Playing Necco Titan playing (I assume) black weenie scroll Justin "Burn Boy" playing a white weenie because he hates his "14" variant and his burn deck. Brandon Barry playing D5C Forgive me if I’m forgetting anyone. I see by my little page counter that I have just completed my twentieh page. Time to get to the actual play. Round one VS Yvonne Roch I try to engage Yvonne in small talk about the weather, where she is from, and where she plays. She plays at Your Move Games of course. The best players in world come from Your Move Games. I know I’m in for a good match, as I have seen Yvonne at a lot of these things, but never played her. She is thin and pretty, but is either shy, or nervous. She tells me that it has been raining for thirteen days straight so today’s wonderful sunny hot day is a welcome relief. I find that odd, because 200 miles away in Vermont we have had 13 days of weather just like today. For the first time in my entire life- winter just let go of Vermont. It was winter one day, and then BANG spring came in with a vengeance of sunny weather and warm temperatures. She plays a forest and then a BOP. I play a mountain Shock the bird before she can use it. She untaps, plays a city and a muscle sliver. I untap, play a mountain incinerate the sliver. She untaps, plays a forest, and a winged sliver. I waste the city of ass and incinerate the winged sliver. She gets out a couple more green things, but does not get any other colored land, and dies with a hand full of uncastable stuff. She is polite but frustrated. Not the beginning she was hoping for, I’m sure. I side in some pyroblasts and side out some random stuuf – like one pup, one lightning blast and one emissarie. In the second game, she mana leaks some key early spells, and gets out a horde of Slivers, including winged, muscle and acidic. That’s a lot of damage she has on the board. Things are starting to go badly for me. Just barely badly, and I start to pray for a ‘haups that she hasn’t seen yet. Yvonne sacs something, Natural Order, Sliver Queen. Oh man! Against a lot of red decks that’s game right there. But I am with fat, and keep my hopes up. I cast a Bogardan Pheonix, and she takes the pheonix to read, then hands it back to me. That happens all day. She starts her turn and I have a jackle pup and a pheonix on the board. I’m thinking right now that I need to top deck a haups, or we’re going to three games. She attacks with the fat queen and some slivers and I hate to do it , but I block with the pheonix. It dies and immediately comes back with a death counter. God loves me today. I top deck the haups, and clear the board. You can see the surprise in her eyes, as I cast the haups, and I do the little thing I picked up from watching Hammer play. I flip the card over, hold one end of it by two fingers and tap it on the table a couple of times. If I was really obnoxious, I would tap six mana, show her the haups, and tap her queen, all her lands, and all her slivers, as if to say – I take all this stuff out with the haups. The land goes, the queen goes, and all your slivers go – tapping each one as if it was mass targetted removal. I don’t know how I picked that up, as I have only seen Hammer play a couple of times, and maybe I picked it up from Ira or Keith, cause now we all do it. If you’re going to kill something with a Terror or an Incinerate, you tap the two mana, flip the card over, and lightly tap the opposing creature as if to say – "I kill that janky crap with this cool card right here." But I reserve that behavior for tools, idiots, and Joshie Trash Talker. Joshie and I are getting along really well these days – but we like to futz with each other a lot. I just find I keep mentioning him a lot because he’s really a trash talker at heart and has a rough time restraining himself. So anyway, as the haups goes off, she sacs all her Slivers for two points of damage each because of the acidic, and a ton of untapped land, and gets me down to four. She gets a couple of land on the board, and I don’t remember how, but she does two more to me. She plays one more acidic sliver, or draws a bolt and I am dead. But she doesn’t, and I am able to take it in two. Yvonnne was truly cool the whole match, but a little upset with the way her deck perfomed. Like – mana screwed the first game, and not drawing the final two points to finish me. Onward. I think ALL of the suicide shadow necro burlington boys win, and the Middlebury crew runs about fifty percent. Round two – undefeated – what a man. Round two I am faced off against Jon Finnimone. John is playing a white weenie/shadow armor/ mogg maniac deck. First game.I don’t remember, but I think I just burn him a new hole. I think I just see a lot of fire, so he see’s little of my deck. John plays a bit tenatively, and in small talk I discover that he has just started playing again a short while ago. He’s a gamer at heart like probably all of us reading this, and had to start playing magic again because it was all anyone in his area played. A bit of D&D here and there, but mostly magic. In the second game, the thing I fear most in this tournament happens. Second turn priest, third turn armor, sneak through the shadows for some Soltari lovin. I get bent over for six, then seven, then game. Wow – that hurts a lot. In the third game, once again, the entire reason I play mono color. John gets a two mountain draw, and a hand full of white spells. I kill anything red he gets out, and play a wasteland. Nothing double white is coming out for a long, long time. Its over pretty quick, and I breathe a huge sigh of relief. I play this kind of deck all day long and I’ll be driving home early. All the burlington boys win again, and Keith and Walter also win again. I think the rest of the Middlebury crew takes a loss. Alan Webster is understandbly thrilled with his deck that the entire crew is playing, and is doing his best to explain why "Unholy Strength is the best card in Magic!" I get coffee and a hot dog from the 19th hole. That’s the thing about playing red or black beatdown. Lots of time to socialize and eat between rounds. Round Three – 2-0 - undefeated – what a man. Tom Guevin comes over and says hello. He knows who I am playing this round, and it’s a friend of his. He asks if its o.k. if he watches. I tell him its fine, just don’t tell anyone about my deck. He tells me he would never tell anyone what he sees. I wasn’t really worried, but people see red, and they have no idea that I am playing with Fat. Everyone assumes that I am playing with weenie burn scroll like the rest of the sheep. I just don’t want anyone to know that if they get too big a lead that a ‘haups may come and reset the board. I know Tom’s trustworthy, but my deck has a couple of tricks. If I was just playing burn, I wouldn’t care what he said. John Wiggins. Also 2-0 of course. Wiggins. Now that’s a name to be feared. Anyone who has read "Ender’s Game" by Orson Scott Card knows why. Ender Wiggins and his siblings are Tacticle Geniuses. I just finished the first book of the series, and its highly recommended. The best book I have read in years, and I don’t care much for sci/fi, being more of a fantasy buff myself. I mention the book to John, and he says that, yes, he has read it. If I remember correctly, John knows who I am, and mentions he likes my reports. John is with red/blue control. Joshie Trash Talker (dropped) and Tom (already qualified for Nationals) watch the entire match. Looking at my hand, and then at John’s. I start out with some little beatdown that really isn’t important. John counters some stuff – but the deck works just like I told the Cabal Rogue list it would. I save up burn, and try to draw counters with creatures. As I draw burn, I hold it until I have enough to start a big fire. "Lightning Blast you at the end of your turn?" John thinks about this for a second and then allows it. Start my turn, draw either burn or land. Say done. John untaps, takes his turn, and say’s done. I don’t think I see a single creature on John’s side the entire first game except for one Rainbow Efreet which I ignored. I Incinerate John, he allows it, I Incinerate him again, he counters, I Shock him, he allows it. Start my turn, draw a land and play it. Say done. I again try to Lightning Blast or Incinerate John at the end of his turn, he dissipates one of them, I untap, waste an untapped city so he only has three land untapped and torch him for everything I have. John reaches down to tap some land, remembers I said "Torch," looks at his hand, and says "That’s Game." Fireballs suck. Torch is not only better, it even sounds hotter. John and I sideboard, I’m sure, 4 blasts apiece. I’m thankful he can’t use Chills against me, as I am with mono red with no artifacts in the main or in the board. Fat red with no artifacts. Throws a lot of people off. The game goes pretty much the same, but this time I draw THREE of my blasts and John only draws one of his. We each get up to a lot of land right off the bat, and I start the same process I did last time, bolting or blasting him at the end of his turn. I draw some counters, and then he taps six mana before the end of my turn, and shows me a Whispers. Oh, I hate that! I hate Whispers of the Muse! Despite the amazingly cool artwork on it, its on my hate list. Right up there with Thawing Glaciers and Land Tax. I carefully consider my options, try not to show him the dread and fear I feel, and attempt a blast. It goes through, and I know its time to ‘haups. I draw another blast, tap six land, leaving one untapped, and we start over. You think God gets angry when you play out multiple black knights with unholy strength? The Fire God goes absolutely ballistic when a sexy babe starts whispering strategy in the enemies ear. That’s just wrong. Land, creatures and artifacts are swept away in a glacial torrent and luckily John does not have a counter. I draw a land and shock him. Then another land and I incinerate him. This goes on until he is charred and smoking, and I have won. How unusual. I always take a loss in the second or third round. Tom confers with John about his play, and offers some suggestions, and I ask Tom what he thinks of my deck. He replies "It looks really strong vs control, but then, all your decks seem pretty stong against control. But Jeezus! All your stuff is so fat! Doesn’t anyone in Vermont own a Winter Orb? What do you do against an Orb?" I reply with the simple answer I always give to that question. "I lose." (For those of you thinking about playing the deck – the real answer is that I side in 4 fireblasts and hope for the best. Tapped mountains can still be sacced for 4. And for those of you wondering why I don’t have fireblast in the main – this is a red control deck – its not about killing your oppoent on turn 4 like a lot of red decks. Yes, it combos well with the Haups, but now all you have is a two card combo that makes your opponent take four as all his stuff is wasted away. That’s not a combo – that’s just dumb. I’d rather have a couple of shocks so I can have control after the haups – not make it so Haups allows me to start over AND do four damage. That’s about as strategic as bolting your opponent on the first turn.) John was one of my more enjoyable opponents all day. Careful, thoughtful and nice. It was a great match. I believe almost all of the burlington boys won again except for Alan. Alan has Darwin Kastle disease. His deck is propelling others to victory, but he takes a loss. Alan is quite pissed off. I have just remembered – Kevin Tamlyn took a loss in the first round to the guy I played in the second round. Apparently, white weenie shadow armor was enough to beat his suicide black. But he has not lost since. I get another coffee and hot dog and say hello to about fifty people that I know. Coming down to Boston is awesome. Rob and his crew always run great tournies, and Regionals is no exception. Fourth Round, and luckily still undefeated. I’m amazed at how good I feel today. Its amazing what good nights sleep can do for your play skill. Instead of being incredibly frustrated and pissed off at all the mistakes I’ m making, I’m actually pleased with myself and playing magci like I know I can. My Fourth Round opponent is Geoff Willard. Sorry Geoff, but I can remember almost nothing about this match. I remember two or three people at the table tell me they read my reports and like them. And I remember that you were playing a black speed weenie deck with cursed scroll and ensnaring bridge. I remember asking for two rulings on cursed scroll, and that being it. I win 2-0 and I can’t remember anything else. Sorry. At four and O I am pretty pleased, but also depressed. A number of our best players from Vermont have gone 1-3 or 2-2 and dropped. And I’m really tired of that. More than anything else, I want someone from Vermont to get into the top eight besides me. The confidence boost will inspire a new level of play for our entire group – and I long for it. The burlington crew now all has one loss, and Walter and I are the only ones left Undefeated. Walter playing his white weenie deck that he hates is 4-0. Pretty cool. I tell Keith and Louise that they should take off. It’s a long drive home, and its getting late. Walter’s riding with me anyway, and we can find our way home. They refuse, and want to hang out to see how everyone finishes. Walter is playing the amazing Darwin Kastle in this round. I am playing Martin Lund, who doesn’t know me from Adam. Martin is a great deal of fun to play. He talks constantly in this random conversational tone and keeps apologizing for it. We have a good game, and I can tell he has no idea what to do about my deck. Despite this, for the first time all day – I lose the first game in fine style to his scroll and Spite. I get to eleven – no worries right? He attacks with a black knight he has out, I go down to nine. I do something useless on my turn, say I am done. He scrolls me, showing me a BURLY PROTECTOR!!! OH CRAP!!!! Going down to 7. Untap, show me the protector again for two more, tap three mana – (I don’t think Martin has internet access – he doesn’t know who I am, and he didn’t say "Spring Forth!" he just cast it.) spites me for five bone crushing points. DAMNIT!!!!!! At 4-0, I am counting my blessings, but I am also confident. I realize today that I can forget about going home early ever again. I’m always in contention for the top eight in the last round, and I need to start focusing on that. I need to stop saying I’m a scrub, and start focusing more on being the player I can be. I feel great about my deck, and I don’t want to lose that confidence. A loss will take some of that away. I LIKE BEING UNDEFEATED DAMNIT!!! I almost always take a loss in the second or third round, and this is the first time I have been able to make it to round five undefeated. I don’t want that to end. I don’t want to take a loss and then be struggling from now on. Just once, I want to go 6-0 and then draw into the top eight. Just once. I sideboard with care, and see that I don’t really have that much good against him. I have Bottle gnomes to help win the damage race – but then my standard strategy is to side out the pups for the gnomes. Considering all the creature elim Marty probably has is not damage related – I really like the pups. I really don’t care if he terrors a pup – or necrataals it, or edicts it. So, I don’t make any changes. The second game he gets a fast start, but I just kill everything he puts on the board and then start laying fat. I start to gain conrol, end up getting a couple of pheonixes on the board, and Marty is scrolling me away with his broken scroll. I’m afraid of the huge drain that I think is going to come – so I haups, and the Pheonixes finish him off. Marty is still conversational, and looks through his sideboard some more and then says – "I never thought I would be siding these in against mono red!" and he throws four more cards into his deck. I look through my sideboard, and I am deathly afraid of his Scroll and Burly Protector, so I decide to take a chance and go into burn mode. I side in three of my fireblast in the hopes that I will get a chance to use them. I figure I can afford to side out two wastelands, sicne I haven’t seen so much as a quicksand yet. I also side out an orgg I think. Third game begins, and Marty gets off to what I consider an excellent start. He rituals out an erg raiders with Unholy strength on it when all I have is a shock in hand, and these pound me for a couple of rounds. Then I get rid of that damn thing and he gets out something else with unholy strength. I’m getting pounded and I’m holding these useless fucking fireblasts!!! What was I thinking? Marty keeps coming at me with something that has a three roughness and I can ’t find an incinerate or a lihgtning blast. I do have a haups and fireblast in hand though. Pretty damn helpful. Marty then topdecks BOTTOMLESS PIT and plays it. I’m going to lose. He attacks with the unholy something and I do the hammer thing and flip over my fireblast and tap his unholy something as if to say – "I sac two of my only four mts to kill him." But then I reconsider. I play really tight, and I don’t ask for takebacks as many of you reading my reports know. But, I think for a second, and say – "No, strike that. I’m not doing that. I don’t believe I have cast this until I sac the two mountains and place this in the grave." I look to Marty to see his reaction, and Marty, being the really cool guy that he is, shakes his head and says "Agreed, you have not placed the spell in the graveyard." Of course – that’s a little controversial to some. Some will say I played the card by showing it to him. But as far as I know – chess rules are in effect. If you watch the Pro Tour one video, there is a time when Bertrand sacs a strip mine and taps a land of Loconto’s, then starts to put the card in his grave, stops, and taps a different land. Loconto asks if he can do this, and Tom Wylie says he can until he takes his hand off it. We call it the chess rule. We use it for tapping land and untapping land. If you tap a land and let go – don’t ask to take it back. If you tap a whole pile, NOT remove your hand, and then untap them all again, that’s fine. Anyone know if this is an official rule? Anyway – I can’t sac two mountains, or I won’t be able to play much in my deck….. I kill it this turn by blocking with something, and then saccing two fanatics to off it. At least, I think that’s what I do. Anyway – it doesn’t damage me much more, and things should start to stabalize. Marty and I both have no cards in hand because I lose the fireblast in upkeep, and now its all down to topdecking skillz. I show my infinite scrubness by top decking a haups, with four land on the board. Marty shows that he has what it takes to go to Nationals by top decking a scroll. Crap. I continue to show how good I am by top decking another haups, then an orgg, then a pheonix, and then another useless fireblast. Then land, land, and land. Marty scrolls me to death. Marty then goes on to make top eight, and it would be tough to find a nicer guy that’s going to Nationals. I wish him the best. Also, Marty was a really good player, so I’m happy to lose to him. I hate losing to people that I know I should beat. I don’t feel that I should have beaten Marty. I let him know that its time for me to relax for a bit from Magic, work on some writing anf I hope he makes it to Nationals. As it turns out – he does. See his report also on the Dojo for more details. Damn – 4-1. As I am stewing over my loss, a young guy by the name of Nick (I think. Sorry if I got the name wrong. I’m horrible with names!) asks if I am Jamie Wakefield. I reply that I am, and he tells me he likes my stuff, and asks if I will sign an Erhnam for him. O.k. - I’m not pissed anymore! Thanks Nick! I sign the Erhnam for him with FAT written in big letters and my signature underneath. Pretty cool. Makes my day. Nick and I talk for a bit, and then I wander off with a big grin. Before I even get back to the group to tell them I lost, Andy Mitchell, a long time friend and competitor comes up and says – "Wakefield! I have something for you! And digs through his backpack for something. A signed by the author Steel Golem that says "Man of Steel" on it. So cool. I thank Andy and grin even more. Thanks Andy – also very cool. Really helped make my day after a loss. Round Six. Keeping Hope Alive. My next opponent is Joshua Laison – playing a deck I love and respect highly. It seems totally original, and its filled with Fat. How much more can you ask for? I hope he doesn’t mind me spilling the beans, but I have to tell you about this deck. It seems to be based on highly useful utility creatures that can keep put themselves in the graveyard if need be. Blood pets, fanatics, fireslingers and circling vultures. The smalll weenies are good in their own right, but if need be, they can either kill themselves or be sacrificed to be in the graveyard to pay upkeep on Barrow Ghouls and Vultures. I think he had hidden Horrors as well. Pretty damn nifty. In the first game, I am able to stave off his weenies with a ton of direct damage and fanatics of my own, and then when the barrow ghouls start coming, I am up to four mana and lightning blast them. I eventually get out two orggs against him and he remarks "Wow. Two Orggs. Most people are dead by the time they get to this point in the game." 26 land and lots of damage. Red is so cool. I go trampling over a couple of times and its over. Once he does the blood pet thing, saccing a blood pet during damage prevention and I have to get a judge to confirm. He’s pretty happy to be able to use the trick, and I tell him its really cool – but stupid of WOTC to make that ruling. I try hard to let him know that I think its great he knows that rule, and I think its great he got to finally use that trick – without sounding like I’m whining over the ruling. I’m one turn from victory anyway, so I hope he doesn’t think I’m being a dick. La la la…. So anyway – in the second game, he gets out a pretty goood start and then I notice he only has a sulpherous springs for black mana. I waste it, he never draws another source of black, and I wreck him. We play a third for fun because he asks me to, and I win again. I think we play a fourth and he wins that one, but I’m not sure. Feeling pretty good. Played an original, well thought out deck that I want to make a copy of, and I'’ still in it at 5-1. Walter takes a loss and goes to 5-1 as well. Martin Lund wins again, and hopes he can draw in. and then does. Seventh round – do or die time. Win this one, and I think I can draw in. Sure – its risky, but my tie breakers are excllent, because I have been at table number two all day long. And once again, I am still at table two. My opponent this round is Chris Faesi. Before we start, someone comes over and sets a Taco Bell Tick Figureine down between us. Cool! I think! Someone know my love of the Tick and is bringing this over for a good luck charm. But, no. This guy is a friend of Chris’s and the Tick is for him. Ha! It won’t help! I’m the Tick! The good luck charm will help me! It will be traitorous and help me win! I play a Mountain and a pup. A small smile escapes Chris. Hmmm, that’s not good. Chris takes his turn and plays the worst card in Magic. A forest. And nothing else. La la la!!! I am going to Nationals!!!! My opponent is playing with Forests and I have The Tick on my side! Oh this is so cool. I want to make some smart comment about how he’s playing with the worst card in magic, and hope to get a smile from him, but I’m afraid it will be taken wrong. Also, I want to mention that its never good when someone plays a forest and then…. what???? No elf? No wild Growth? No Quirrion? No Guildmage? Some people are sensative about their love of green, so, I say nothing. I play green a lot and when you play a forest and nothing else – that’s not a good draw. I take my turn and play a Fantastic aka Elf Killer!, attack with the Pup – "Release the Hounds!". Chris plays a City of Ass, and I’m thinking – Hmm, Wall of blossoms now, and then he’s gonna play a tradewind soon, and I’m just going to wreck him. I’ll lightning blast hist tradewind, kill all his janky sub optimal green crap and then plan my trip itinerary. La la la! I’m going to Nationals!! He’s playing green! But he does not play a wall of blossoms. Nor does he play a wall of roots, or anything. He plays a City of Ass, and says done. Why is he looking so pleased, playing a City of Ass and nothing else? A city is really bad against a burn player, and I’m about to start unloading on him. Why does he look so calm? Many, Many Many of you are thinking – "Wakefield, you are such a scrub." For those of you NOT thinking that. You will be soon. I take my turn, I attack with the fantastic and the Pup, play a land and say done. Chris plays ANOTHER Citry of Ass!!! Oh man is he so dead. "Wow, the two city draw aaginst a burn player. You always love to see that, huh?" Chris nods and smiles knowingly at me like the scrub I am. He says done again, so I start to think for a second. He has two city of brass on the board, he hasn’t played anything yet. I think I can finish this pretty quick. But do I want to go into burn mode so soon? Shouldn't I just be safe and save the burn for his creatures? I mean, I can always unload later right? Well, sometimes yes, and sometimes no. Better take a test pot shot. "Incinerate you?" He shrugs and adjusts his dice. "Fine." I untap, draw, attack with both, look at the amazing amount of burn in my hand, all of it instants and say done. Chris says something that chills me to the bone. When the Lovely Mare was late for three weeks – I wasn’t this scared. No movie or Stephen King book has scared me as much as what he says next….. "Vampiric Tutor at the end of your turn, tapping a City." "Oh Crap." I say out loud. "No wonder you weren’t concerned about the two city draw! Damn! No wonder you were so pleased to see my mounatin!" Chris smiles and nods. We chat a bit, and he shows his hand to his friend. "Look at this! I got a god draw! I have everything I need right here!" He knows the jig is up – and I know what he’s playing. No need to hide it. Nationals seems a long way off. A very long, long way off. Chris smiles and laughs good naturedly and drains me for 24 on this, his fourth turn. la la la I side out Haups, Pheonixes and Orggs. 9 cards. I side in fireblasts, pyroblasts and a final fortune. I get the amazing lucky draw and fireblast him out on the fourth turn. 1.. against the amazing Bloom Deck. Damnit!!!!!!!!!! I want to go to Nationals!!!!! Question for everyone. My initial hand for the third game is….. Mt, Mt, Wasteland, Lancer, Pyroblast, Fireblast, Wildfire. Do you keep that against Bloom? The pyro is sort of important, but I don’t have any early speed. I do have a wasteland which is pretty good, but I don’t have anything that will let me kill him on turn four before he kills me. What do you do? I debate for a long time – then I paris. I get one strip mine. Paris again. Then I get two mts, pup, fantastic, shock. Uber Beatdown. Not. Damn. But I have to keep it. Surprisingly, he draws no non basic land, so the wasteland of my initial draw would have been worthless, but it does take him until turn five to go off. I end my turn with him at two – and me having a fanatic, a pup and a lancer on the board. He taps his library twice, prays to the top deck gods and says – "I need a miracle right here." He gets it; and goes off on me. I should have kept the initial hand, and I would probably be going to Nationals. There’s a lot of luck, and a lot of skill in this game. If I had sided correctly against Marty for game number three – I may have had a better chance. If I had known that Bloom can’t go off on you EVERY time on turn 4, especially when you are holding a Pyro – I would have made the proper choice and kept my initial hand. Hammer or Guevin confer with me, and ask me if I wish I had kept it and agree that with no early beatdown, it was risky at best. Damn. So close. Again Always a Bridesmaid, and about once a year, a Bride. Not this time though. Two losses is almost assuredly out of it. I get condolences all around, and feel like crap. I really wanted to win for a lot of people. La la la. Between rounds I get another boost. Justin Polin is 5-2 as well playing his MONO GREEN Resources - Denied deck. Justin and I talk for a bit, and he shows me his deck, and Nick comes over and we chat some more, and it’s a pretty cool 15 minutes. I also say hello this round to Craig. Not sure where Craig is from but he is the Burn Master. He always plays burn at these things, and the three times we’ve faced, it hasn’t been pretty. I’m usually crispy no matter what I’m playing. He’s beaten the Brothers Grimm varient for the Paris Qualifiers, and took me out twice in the Mirvlight qualifiers. I mention how happy I am not to have had to face him again this tourney. He laughs and tells me about his day – not good. Last Round. Keith and Louise want me to play the last round because one six and two MIGHT make it in, and Kevin from Brulington is 6-1 and still in it. I might take out someone in contention for Kevin’s slot. Fine – I’ll stay in. This round I face off against James Smiglielski (sp?) James is from Hammer’s Shop, and Hammer is looking on as we start. James is 5-1-1 and needs a win to maybe go to Nationals. I tell him I hope he wins, but I can’t just give it to him because I might be screwing a friend and myself if I do that. He understands and tells me he wants a good fight. He plays a Forest and a Vineyard. I gasp and say "Oh my God." James looks shocked and says "What? What? What? Is that really good for you? Is that really bad for you?" I’m such an ass. I didn’t mean to exclaim like that, but I have never played a vineyard deck in a tourney. ALL my decks beat Vineyard. Fat loves Vineyards. I try to explain that no, that’s not really good for me, or really bad for me, and that I was just happy to be playing a Vineyard deck. Its cool. I lie as best as I can, but I was just really rude, because what I was really thinking was – there is no way I can lose. I play a Mountain and a Lancer. Attack for two. Next turn I play a Wildfire and then an Orgg. He gets out an ensnaring bridge, and I haups. He’s lower than I on life and has emptied his hand so he could use his scroll effectively. He burns out before I do. In the second game, I play a ton of fat, burn a little bit, get out two Pheonixes and Haups. The COP James has on the board doesn’t save him as I haups and he burns and dies to the birds. Kevin plays off against the Evil Bregoli playing the Evil Bloom deck. And Kevin loses. Great. Once again we have about 10 of the twenty people that came down with 6-2 records. Just great. Vermont – Home of the Bridesmaids. It’s a long, long ride home, but we make it. And with a six and two record, a card signing, and a signed Steel Golem given to me – its been a great day. Props God – thanks for not killing my friend Rodney. Keith and Lousie – cause they’re the best. Alan – for designing the deck that took all the Burlington boys to amazing records. Andy Mitchell – For the signed Steel Golem and just being a great guy. Hammer and Guevin – you can tell these guys try hard to be mentors to a ton of people. Rob Dougherty and his crew – For another excellently run tourney. The Mighty Mighty Michelle Bush – Made Nationals Again. Nice Job. Darwin Kastle – always friendly to me. Justin Polin for going 6-2 with a freakin mono green deck. Amazing. Nick for asking me to sign his Erhnam. WOTC for creating an environment where so many decks are viable. Hope you enjoyed it – Author’s Note – I am not sure where to go with my life. Richard at work would like me to join his networking team. This will provide me with more room for advancement, a better salary, and my job would be more challenging. But I have the BEST job right now. I get to play with all the new hardware, and tweak all our new systems. I get to play with it first, figure out how to make it work, and look smart when the other techs need me to tell them a trick to get a piece of hardware working. (just so you know – I build new computer systems.) I sit in a dark room (because that’s the way I like it) play my choice of music all day, cruise the web, check out Tom’s Hardware Guide, and build the hottest fastest, newest, machines. Last week I put together a machine that had a 100 mhz front side bus, 128 megs of ram, a 12 meg voodoo2 card, 350 mhz pentium 2, etc etc etc. The week before that was slow so I tested some 2D/3D cards, checked out the web, and filled everyone in on what card I thought we should be going with in all our systems. It’s great. But, I wish to be a writer. I have one book on the stands right now, and I know people enjoy my writing. But how do I get paid for this? I received my first check from Wordware, and in 1495 book sales, I made as much as I make in a week at work. Which is not a lot. Building new computer systems is fun, but it doesn’t pay like I’m an MCSE. I could start submitting articles to various magazines, but that’s not usually very productive. You have to have an "IN". The world runs on nepotism. You have to know someone. I have a feeling if I wrote some articles for Inquest – they wouldn’t know who I was, would pass them over, and I would just end up posting them to the Dojo like I did with Scrye. It may seem lazy – but I want someone to offer me a job. Because they know my writing. Because they like my writing. I want them to offer me a book deal. Or a freelance writing position. Anything. I certainly have enough material for another book. Not being qualified for Nationals or Worlds, means I have enough time to get it together. But I need an "In." Not because I’m lazy – but because that’s the way the world works. At least – that’s the way it has always worked, or not worked, for me. La la la Jamie C. Wakefield Mister Verbose King of the Fatties Mono Color Boy Patron Saint of Sheild Spheres, Carrionettes, and Sage Owls. 9th at New England Regionals ‘97 11th at New England Regionals ‘98 18th in PT New York number one. Just about Dead Last PT Dallas Just about Dead Last PT LA Proud Member of Cabal Rogue Author of the Book "Tournament Reports" For a review check out www.post-box.com/magic