Subject: Ohio Valley Regionals Date: Sun, 17 May 1998 11:46:53 -0400 From: Michael Aten To: fkusumot@ix.netcom.com What Not To Play at Regionals OR It's All About the Sideboard I find myself bored with preliminary information often (we stayed up until three in the morning testing, then woke up at 3:15 to start our drive), so I'll just give a few vital statistics. I brought three decks with me: Blue PropaOrb, Incomplete ProsperBloom, and what I now refer to as "The Worst Sligh Deck In the History of Magic." When we arrived at the tournament site, I was too lazy to go looking for cards, so I just decided to play the Sligh. Of course, everyone, his mother, and all the family pets were playing either ProsperBloom or 4 Chills and 8.5 Gerrard's Wisdoms, so this was stupid. (You'll also note that the deck is not actually "Sligh" but "red weenie"; Sligh is just so much easier to write). Also, I was playing with a broken(?) finger. Not as much of a detriment as in a real sport, but annoying nonetheless. Well, enough yammering; on to the deck and report. "The Worst Sligh Deck In the History of Magic" 4 Mogg Conscripts 4 Mogg Fanatic 4 Jackal Pup 4 Ironclaw Orcs 4 Ball Lightning 3 Viashino Sandstalker 3 Hammer of Bogardan 4 Incinerate 4 Fireblast 4 Shock 4 Wasteland 18 Mountain The Worst Sideboard in the History of Magic 3 Dwarven Miner 2 Invasion Plans 4 Pyroblast 3 Cursed Scroll 3 Winter Orb I just threw this deck and sideboard together the night before (with my brother's "help"); can you tell? Anyway, since I had no intention of writing a report at the time I was playing, I don't remember enough names to warrant my writing them. Round 1: Stompy The Stompy deck I played against was pretty standard, except that it seems as though Armor of Thorns is making a comeback; I saw a few Stompies with them included. Game One: My draw is suboptimal, and my opponent gets the early beatdown. Unfortunately, his beatdown consists solely of 1/1 creatures. The tide of the game is not easy to turn around. I burn several creatures including a Dervish in response to an Armor of Thorns, and he chumps with the rest of them. Game Two: I didn't know at the time, of course, but his draw consisted of two creatures. My hand had an abundance of land, but I didn't Paris the entire day due to fear. I burn his first creature then commence beatings. He plays an Armor of Thorns on a Quirion Ranger. I summon a Viashino Sandstalker next turn with four lands out. I attack with all my creatures, and he chooses to block the VS. Rather than simply trading creatures, he gets greedy and tries to Growth his with his last untapped land. I Fireblast it in response, play a land next turn, and keep the Viashino beatings going. Matches: 1-0 Games: 2-0 Round 2: AntiSligh WW This was a pretty standard Cursed WW with one exception: Sky Spirit. His logic seemed "reasonable" for including them: first strike against sligh (I Shock your Sky Spirit) and flying over Wall of Blossoms (I tap three Reflecting Pools and a Quicksand, and I cast Wrath of God). Well, when I left, he was 7-0-1, so who has the right to question? Game One: I think the object of his deck is to get his hand as low as possible by casting Mox Diamond and easy-to-kill creatures. He draws all land, Tithes, Sky Spirits, a Scroll, and a Disenchant. I roll him. Game Two: I drew one Mountain in my opening hand. However, I also had three one-cost creatures. Beatings, right? I think I died with one land on the table. Game Three: Eat your heart out, Nate Clarke! (If you don't know what I'm talking about, read his article on the Dojo). Despite his having a Freewind Falcon ( a "chicken", as he and several others called it), a Warrior en-Kor, and a Soltari Priest, this game is pretty close. After awhile of some beatings (including him missing with Scroll twice with two cards in hand), he was at 11. At the end of his turn, I Pyroblasted his Sky Spirit and cast Shock on him. When I announced I was casting Shock, he was too preoccupied with placing the Jank Spirit in the graveyard to change his life total. So I repeated myself, saw him moving his life counter, and started to untap. After drawing, I looked at my hand. A Hammer and an Incinerate. I also had a couple of Mogg Fanatics in play. I looked at his life total: 7. Huh? Apparently, since I said "shock" twice, it registered in his mind twice, and he took 4 life off. So, who do you think won? Matches: 1-1 Games: 3-2 Round 3: WW It appears that honesty is the best policy. I have no idea how long I could've lasted in the winner's bracket, looking back, and I seem to be playing against a kid participating in his first tourney. It's a fairly well-constructed deck, but skills are the deciding factor. Game One: One of his plays is to Gerrard's for 8. Poor kid. Anyway, one turn, he casts Knight of Dawn and gives it ProRed in the same turn. On my turn, I Shock it, and he has to call a judge over to find out about "until end of turn" effects. Sigh. However, the kid beats on me like you wouldn't believe. I burn all of his creatures but two: an en-Kor and an Order of the White Shield. He has attacked me down to 3. On his turn, he taps out to make the Shield 5/1 First Strike, then attacks with both creatures. I Fireblast the Shiled and block the Warrior with a Pup, leaving me at 1. I did win, though. Game Two: I draw a hand full of land with two Lightning and 1 Scroll only. I keep it 'cuz I think the kid's a "chumly" who's not clever enough to play with Disenchant. Boy, was I wrong. I think he had about 72 creatures on the table when I "scooped." Game Three: He Wisdoms three times for almost thirty life and slaps down CoP: Red. (Look at my Sideboard to see how I get rid of THAT). I, however, have two Scrolls to his No Disenchants and six land, and I beat him and all of his creatures into Cursed Pile of well, you know. Matches: 2-1 Games: 5-3 Round 4: Lockdown This is quite the peculiar deck. He is 1-0-2 with it so far; he's played against many a control deck. It seems more like a fun deck than a tourney-worthy one. Game One: I see swamps, Propaganda, Island Sanctuary, and Moxes. He sees a swarm of creatures and a handful of damage. Game Two: Cop: Red, Propaganda (I think), Orb, Megrim, Howling Mine, whistles, yo-yos, whips, chains, my grandmother riding by on a bicycle giving me the finger, a circus midget, and a duck. (from Black Sheep, of course) Game Three: His mana is stunted, so his early CoP is no big deal. At four life, at one point, he taps out to cast Wrath. Things are starting to look grim, as the lock is being set up. A Fanatic died to the Wrath, putting him at 3. All I need to do to win is draw a land to Incinerate him (WOrb is out). I untap and...Fanatic. Well, Lah-Di-fricking-dah! I play it and knock him to 2. At the beginning of one turn, I had three untapped lands, a Scroll, and two cards in hand. Seeing this as my last chance of winning, I try to Scroll him, and name Viashino Standstalker, setting my two cards facedown on the table. He points to one and starts to pick it up. I look at the other one and see Incinerate. I am the winner! The Scrolls like me today. In my match with Sky Spirit guy, he tried three times during the course of the match with two cards in hand and lost them all. Matches: 3-1 Games: 7-4 Round 5: Black WeenieNecro Time to spend a moment talking about prevalent deck types. X-color White Weenie was successful, as were TradewindBounce, Sliver decks, and a few 5CUs. Most people had enough sense to not play Sligh. Many good players, such as the by-now-famous-I'm- sure Team Deadguy, played ProsperBloom. It just wasn't good enough to make the cut. Worth Wollpert went 0-2 in the first two rounds, for example, and two losses don't allow a person to make the cut in any tourney. I sat next to Chris Pikula in this round, and he "beat himself." He lost to a black weenie deck, the final mentionable prevalent deck type in this tourney. Black weenies were amazing; Jason Opalka, playing Bloom, nearly lost to one. His opponent ritualed out a Sarcomancy and an Erg Raiders, then Unholyed them both the next turn. What am I going on about? Game One: He actually cast Necro against me, but I think he had the sense to side it out in the next games. He won the race somehow--how did that happen? Oh, I remember: I got too many lands, then Fireblasted down to too few lands to stay alive. Card denial is key. Game Two: This was a close game, but I seem to remember winning. Game Three: I outrace him; he tries to race me with two Dauthi Horrors. Rather than burn them and face Wrath of Disk, I fight him back and forth, then burn him out. He F. Charmed a Ball Lightning, but lost next turn to a bunch of creatures and damage. Damage is good. As a side note, in either game 2 or 3, I remember fearing a big turnaround in life as he ritualed for a whole buncha mana. "Big Drain-Game Over" thought I. He actually played---a Nightmare. (I think it was a 4/4). Matches: 4-1 Games: 9-5 Round 6: CounterSliver The whole tournament, scheduled to be eight rounds long, I figured I had no chance of making it to the finals, especially after a second-round loss. At this point, despite how awfully bad my deck was, I thought I had a fraction of a chance. Before this round, though, the tournament was changed to being 9 rounds. My hopes receded. Game One: He plays some early stuff: Metallic, Crystalline, and Muscle Slivers and a Man-o'-War. He leaves only the most newly summoned creature untapped when he attacks and opts not to block my counterattacks. He taps out and I kill him with burn. I think I summoned a Sandstalker, attacked with it and the Pup, then FBlasted him. Game Two: He plays two creatures in four turns. On the fourth turn, I pray he's going to cast a Tradewind, and he does. I pyroblast it and continue VS beatings. Matches: 5-1 Games: 11-5 Round 7: CounterSliver I think this is a Xerox of one of the CSliver netdecks on the Dojo (plus Talon Sliver). Game One: He gets an early sliver of several types, including Crystalline. I cast a Ball Lightning, then I try to Fanatic one of his only untapped creature--a Talon Sliver. Of course, I had forgotten about the Talon Sliver, and so had my opponent. The judge behind me thought I was cheating. He angrily instructed me to choose another target for my Mogg. Authorities. I was stomped. I jokingly thanked the judge for ruining my plan. He wasn't amused. Game Two: I keep the one land draw 'cuz I have two pups, a pyroblast for his Crystal, and a Shock. Even though he had two Crystalline Slivers, I made the right choice. I Fireblast for the win. Game Three: My opponent Parises. I decide not to (despite huge clumps of land in my hand), because his deck has a lotta nonbasic lands (as seen from play and on the net) and I have two Wastelands. When I ask, he told me his only land was a Reflecting Pool. He studies his next draw of six cards. He is going first, so trouble is in the air. He looks at them for so long I know exactly what is up. He has many good two-cost creatures and a nonbasic land. He decides to keep his draw, because you can't double-mulligan. He plays a City of Brass. I Waste it. His nextland comes the turn after I win. I could've Wasted that, too. I know this game was bullshit, but I still think Sligh can beat Sliver; it's all about damage. Matches: 6-1 Games: 13-6 Round 8: AntiSligh WW Now, I know what you're thinking. This crappy deck could NEVER qualify anyone for Regionals, even with incredible luck. Well, you're absolutely right. When I caught a glimpse of Shaman en-Kor while he was shuffling, I expected the worst. Game One: He goes first and lays a Gemstone. I play a Pup. He Shocks it. He then proceeds to play not one, not two, but THREE SOLTARI PRIESTS IN A ROW!!! Game Two: This draw was better for him than the first. I got him down to six, but the game was never really close. He played two Soltari Priests (I should've checked his deck to make sure he only had four), a Warrior en-Kor, a Shaman en-Kor, and a Bottle Gnomes. Oh, yeah, he was holding onto a Passage. Matches: 6-2 Games: 13-8 After my thorough whoopin', I checked to see where I stood in the ranks. 17th before all the matches were done. I was out, not like I was surprised. I hate stuff like this; it happens to me all the time. I get so far, only to lose at the last possible minute. Let's look at some examples... Ohio State Championships, June 1997: 5-1 going into the last round of Swiss of this sealed deck tourney. I could've intentionally drawn into the finals if I hadn't chosen the Junior Division; there were only four Junior slots, and the Juniors had better records than the rest of the competitors. As it was, I played, lost to one of the best decks I'd ever seen, and finished with a 5-2 record. The two people who beat me (Jason Means and Pat Morey) went on to the finals. I went home. PTQ Mainz (Akron, OH): 4-1 going into the final round of Swiss. My deck was very near to brokem , but it was nothing like the last deck I went against. Earthquake, other X-spell, yaddayaddayadda. I could've won, but I made one mistake. This one was my fault. The two I lost to (Keith Miller and some other guy) went to the final 8. PTQ NY (Akron, Ohio): 4-1 going into the final round of Swiss. I played against a deck in three games (I won the first). In the third game, he used 3 spells to wipe out 4 of my creatures. This time, only one of the guys I played (Denver Liston) made it to the finals, if memory serves. 4-2 for me. This happened several other times, I'm sure, in large tourneys. It sucks horribly to go home after 13 or so hours with nothing to show for it (I care nothing for sanctioned points). At least if one loses early, the rest of the day is free to him/her. Don't feel THAT sorry for me; I did qualify for Pro Tour Mainz. (I couldn't go because my mom didn't get my passport). Anyway, maybe I can take comfort in the fact that the two guys who beat me will probably go to the final 8 (and thus Nationals) with 7-0-2 and 7-1-1 records. Maybe I can't. If anybody reading this plays me in a tournament and wins, you have a good chance of doing well in the rest of the tournament. Sigh. "I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down." -Chumbawamba, "Tubthumping" Tim Aten Reality Recess