Subject: more humor?
Date: 30 Nov 97 04:14:30 -0600
From: "David Wintheiser" <David.Wintheiser@ActiveSoftware.com>
To: fkusumot@ix.netcom.com

Top 10 results of a Reagan Administration takeover of the DCI:

10.  All mono-red cards banned.

9.  All cards with the text "demonic", "diabolic", or "infernal" receive
errata changing that text to "liberal".

8.  bethmo leaves WotC and becomes a high-priced lobbyist championing
stricter import laws on intellectual property.

7.  Stories circulate that WotC president Peter Adkison naps during staff
meetings.

6.  Next stand-alone expansion features the Dominarian plane of "America";
Oliver North, Rush Limbaugh, and G. Gordon Liddy included as "Summon
Legend" cards.

5.  The casting cost of each Summon Legend card in the "America"
stand-alone set is RWU.

4.  WotC ships special printing of Energy Bolts and Fumaroles to Iran; uses
proceeds from sale to fund secret tournaments in Central America.

3.  Numerous allegations that Pro-Tour players are hosting vacations and
buying lavish dinners for WotC product managers in return for favorable
editing in future card releases; leaked memo asserts that Eric Lauer
requested that Necropotence be changed to deal damage to opponent for each
card drawn.

2.  Head of WotC legal department issues statement that Pro-Tour players
giving "gifts" to WotC product managers does not constitute a conflict of
interest.

And the number one sign that the Reagan Administration runs DCI:

1.  WotC staffers invade Black Dragon Press claiming that "Tempest of the
Gods" is a threat to democracy.  Sales of Magic increase.

David "Evil Triplet" Wintheiser