Subject: LET'S PUT AN END TO STALLING! Date: Thu, 2 Jul 1998 15:11:50 -0500 From: "Mike Donovan" To: "'fkusumot@ix.netcom.com'" CC: "'mattplace@aol.com'" , "'rob@i1.net'" Frank, First off, I'll state that I've been to 4 major pro tours, the Type I side PT in Dallas, 1 US Invitational and 40-50 PTQs. At least 95% of the players that I've played against at these events have been polite and personable, but a small number of a**holes are making the game of Magic VERY unpleasant for the vast majority of the players. This minority typically consists of 2 types of people: 1. "Spoiled brats" who's parents never said no to them and who expect special treatment from EVERYONE. 2. Disillusioned idiots who believe that PLAYING Magic is a career, rather than an enjoyable, competitive past time. Let's face it, $1,000,000 per year in prizes split up between hundreds of thousands of Magic players worldwide is NOT enough to support more than 6-10 people. I have a full time job that pays my bills, and it enables me to pursue Magic as a "serious" hobby. Having small, local, tournaments which have 2 good players and 12 casual players is NOT what Pro Tour Invites should be BASED ON. If someone can't "hack it" at the PTQ level, they don't belong on the tour! Having to play against STUPID, boring, decks like Necro, Sligh, Prison, etc., is NOT what constructed Magic should be about. Local tournaments should be a TESTING ground to try new concepts, no to rehash the same boring crap! How can ANYONE enjoy the T2 environment if it's nothing but 3 decks and "paper/scissors/rock" for who wins, depending on deck match-ups. This forces players who play for enjoyment to specialize in draft and Extended, which are FUN! This article is VERY sarcastic, but it is somewhat SERIOUS in nature. A small minority of "high level" Magic players have very unsportsmanlike tendencies in that they try to do ANYTHING to win, whether OR not it is part of PLAYING the game. They use mind games, distraction techniques, and/or STALLING. LESSER players fall for these tactics, but even though I'm not a "top" pro, MOST of these tactics can easily be DEALT with. The following are EASY: 1. Trash-talking. If my opponent trash talks, I DO, TOO! My trash talk usually just makes fun of MYSELF, as much as my opponent, just to prove the point that trash talking is stupid. Mine is always VERY sarcastic in nature, and it is designed to make fun of trash talking, in general. I tend to be more the "Magic comedian," rather than a serious trash talker, because when a trash talker realizes that they have no effect on you, it backfires on them. One example: One friend of mine and I were playing in a TE Sealed tournament. I had a weird deck, with a Vineyard, an Overrun, and TONS of green fat, so I actually played silly cards like Rootbreaker Wurm. We had been trashtalking throughout the match, and finally in game 3, I beat him down with a Rootbreaker Wurm AND a Segmented Wurm. MY trash talk was "I beat you down because I had WURMS!" That stuff makes Magic FUN for me, and if you trash talk a trash talker, they'll respect you more. 2. If I catch my opponent drawing extra cards, I ask, "When is MY Ancestral Recall phase?" or something similar. I'm sure I miss a lot of cheating, but when I catch it, I nip it in the bud. 3. If my opponent disagrees with me about ANYTHING, I politely tell him or her that I'd like an "official ruling," and call a judge. I OFTEN do this with new players who don't know the rules, because I don't want take the time to teach someone how to play DURING a match and if they get the official ruling, they can't accuse me of cheating. Judges are there for a reason, make them do their job. 4. Unscrupulous players who take advantage of judges who have "poor command of the English" language. For instance, when 5th ed came out, 2 players in my area actually convinced the judge that Dwarven Warriors got their bonus when they blocked ANYTHING, but only when they were blocked by Orcs. DAMN, a 2/1 wall that can attack is pretty good. Naturally, they used the local judge's stupidity to build an awesome Sligh deck. Although I could do nothing to stop this, I incessantly FLAMED both the judge and the players for being taking unsportsmanlike and taking advantage of an idiot judge. I also did not play Type II there again until this ruling was corrected. There are OTHER places I can go if I want to spend my free time with idiots. Complaints are constantly put on the DOJO about people who stall in Magic tournaments and how unsportsmanlike this is. DCI is just now RECOGNIZING this problem but I don't believe they know what to DO about it. The problem is that if players try to police their opponents, DCI punishes THEM for being unsportsmanlike. HERE are some suggestions for DCI: 1. This might sound stupid, or like a joke, but I think there is actual merit to it. I'll also give credit where credit is due. This suggestion was originally brought up by Herbie Lukes, one of the younger members of Team ACD, of Chicago. In order to STOP stalling, keep track of each player's "TIME OF POSSESSION." For instance, in a 60-minute limited tournament, each player gets 1/2 of the "active or decision making time." The key will be to identify what constitutes "decision making time." With shuffling, drawing, etc., the TOTAL time will be more like about 40 or 45 minutes, total. Let's say each player gets 22.5 minutes, for instance. When that player has used his alotted 22.5 minutes, he can no longer take turns or respond to anything. MY definition of active time would be as follows: a. Time spent deciding what to do on YOUR turn. b. Time spent deciding what to do in response to what your opponent does on HIS turn. c. Excessive shuffling or sideboarding. When the first player finishes, any additional time would be deducted from the other player's turn. While this might sound like a joke, and it would be difficult to institute, it is a point that has merit. The way to enforce it would be to request a "time clock" as an OPTION, just like making your opponent desleeve, at the BEGINNING of a match. This way, KNOWN stallers would get penalized by people who knew their reputations. This would also apply to people who just play and THINK slowly. I think very quickly, and I NEVER take excessive time to make a decision. There is so much luck in Magic, that 75% of my games are determined by the land and spell combinations that my opponent and I draw, especially in Sealed Deck, where it's more like 95%! Generally, DECK CONSTRUCTION (including drafting skill) is what wins games, NOT play skill. In close games when there are multiple options, I will ponder them, but I don't stare at one 'freakin land for 5 minutes. That's not just poor sportsmanship, THAT's cheating. You're depriving your opponent of the time to beat you. Why should someone who THINKS quickly get PENALIZED because their opponent DOES NOT. That's what time limits are FOR! Thinking quickly may not be relevant to Magic playing skill, but then, neither is photographic memory, which is a skill that is advantageous to have in ROCHESTER draft. I play quickly not only because I think fast, but I also have COMMON COURTESY. SOMEONE should win a match. I've played decks designed to deck my opponent and spent less than 1/2 of the time on MY turn that they did on theirs. When it comes to control once you have obtained a lock, your opponent is a fool not to concede, but I put MYSELF to sleep just sitting there drawing one less card than my opponent does because I have an Island Sanctuary to go with my 3 Howling Mines and one Anvil of Bogardan. Once I "G -Wiz" up to 100, if my opponent doesn't concede, I surely don't want to sit there ALL day. That's why I prefer PROACTIVE control decks, rather than REACTIVE ones. It's MY style. The ONLY reason I EVER play REACTIVE control is because it's fun to irritate people sometimes, especially if you take 5 second turns while watching them try to squirm out from under your lock. 2. While suggestion #1 is more cumbersome, suggestion #2 is MUCH more feasible. If a person is accused of stalling, have a judge watch the REST of the match. If it is the judge's opinion that the player IS stalling, give him a game loss IMMEDIATELY. 3. I'm a "very cruel" person to even think of this 3rd alternative. At conclusion of a match, going by LIFE POINTS is MEANINGLESS, and it PROMOTES stalling. Why not go into "sudden death?" This would PUNISH stallers! If game #3 of a match is not concluded at the end of the time limit, FORCE the players to finish the game, by making them play SPEED Magic. Give each player 10 seconds to take an action on one of THEIR phases, and give their opponent 10 seconds to RESPOND. If the player does NOT announce anything (where: I have no response is SOMETHING) in the 10 seconds, deduct one life point from their total and turn over "active" status to their opponent. While DCI probably will NEVER try to stop stalling with REALISTIC time limits (2 minutes is 3 1/3% of a LIMITED round, so a total of 30 turns would be played with NO time allowed for shuffling. Let's face it, sometimes I'm good and sometimes I'm bad, but it's rare that I'm THAT good OR that bad, even in a 2-game match. Get REAL!), we, the competitive players CAN do things. Here are MY suggestions: 1. Insult your opponent's intelligence for taking too much time. Tell him that ANY good player can make the right decision quickly and NEVER draw a match, and that only SCRUBS take more than the necessary amount of time to make a decision. 2. I'm "Pro-Dove," the hilarious duo of brothers who have "Jeckyl and Hyde" personalties, because normally, they're as nice as ANYONE you'd want to meet, but when they're losing or being stalled or cheated, they bitch and cuss up a storm and lose all self-control. To me, they're hilarious, and I always "imitate them" when I lose to them, to give them crap about it. I play against Bob ALL the time, and I ALWAYS bitch whenever EITHER of us gets a bad draw, just to PREEMPT his bitching. EVERYONE thinks this is hilarious, especially me. I'm not too good at it, though, so I have trouble keeping a straight face when I do it. Bob, especially, HATES reactive control decks. While he plays almost as slowly as "the original" "Turbo Bob," he's OUR "Turbo Bob," he hates slow decks. I HATE slow players, so one of his expressions works VERY well for slow players and stallers, too. He doesn't like boring decks, claiming that people who are playing them are "Sitting around with their thumb up their a**" (BTW, this weekend is the 1st anniversary of the "Thumb Up the A** Weekend". LAST 4th weekend, I managed to work that expression into EVERY conversation that Bob and I were in, just to give him more crap). Well, NOW, we have a SOLUTION: Don't give your stalling opponent "the finger," give them "the thumb." If your opponent takes excessive time, SIT ON YOUR THUMB! It's probably TOO LATE to do this at Origins, but let's try for PT Chicago! Whether I qualify or not, since I'm down in St. Louis, I'll BE there. Let's END poor sportsmanship by RETURNING IT IN KIND! COURTEOUS PLAYERS OF THE DCI, UNITE: TOGETHER, WE CAN PUT FUN BACK INTO MAGIC. 3. This is my masterpiece. Next time I qualify for a Pro Tour (assuming I do again), I'll bring an "anti-stalling kit." You'll have to use your imagination on how to use all of these contents, but here is the basic version of what will be in the backpack or gym bag. Forget cards, anti-stalling material is MUCH more important: A large bag of Corn Nuts (as I'm a courteous player, I'll be glad to offer my opponent some) A sandwich and whatever else you'd want in a packed lunch A local and current Newspaper (courteous players would offer their opponents a section, too) A current Duelist Sideboard (feel free to ask your opponent their opinions on the decklists within) A current Scrye or Inquest (feel free to ask your opponent their opinions on the prices) A print-out of the "best of the net" decks from the DOJO (long matches are a good time for strategy discussions) A pillow (who sleeps @ Pro Tours?) A list of the PTQs for the upcoming season (you might ask your opponent which of these he or she might attend) Whatever else you might want, use your imagination. If your opponent accuses you of unsportsmanlike conduct, you can merely tell the judge that last time you inserted your thumb where it wasn't supposed to be that you got stuck and you had to go to the hospital. DCI members, worldwide. Let's show the world that we are a courteous AND professional by PLAYING THE GAME OF MAGIC against any and all opponents who WANT to play the game. Those who want to practice MIND GAMES and STALL TACTICS SHOULD NOT be allowed to ruin the game for new players. If you're a PT player, ask yourself the following questions: 1. How much Magic Product do I ACTUALLY BUY? (Even SCRUBS like me can win plenty of product.) Am I a CUSTOMER? 2. If I'm NOT a customer, then WHO IS? 3. If I'm a PRO, who is paying MY "salary?" Directly, it is WOTC, but indirectly, I'm a ADVERTISER for WOTC. 4. How long will WOTC PAY me to advertise if I run off all their REAL CUSTOMERS. Magic is a game and it should be ENJOYED, even at the PROFESSIONAL LEVEL. Let's put the fun back into OUR game, Mike Donovan "Silvertounged Flame Mage" An occasional pro who ENJOYS Magic